Columnists

AAADD – Know The Symptoms… If You Think H1N1 Is Bad – Just Wait

Issue 27.09

Thank goodness there’s a name for this disorder.  Check your pulse to see if you have it!!

Recently, diagnosed patient with A.A.A.D.D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. Symptoms:

I decide to water my garden.  As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.  I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.  I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.  So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.  But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.  I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I’d been drinking.  I’m going to look for my checks but first; I need to push the Coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.  The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.  As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need water.  I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.  I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers. 

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote…Someone left it on the kitchen table.  I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.  I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.  So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.  Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.  

At the end of the day: the car isn’t washed, the bills aren’t paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don’t have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can’t find the remote, I can’t find my glasses, and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it but first, I’ll check my e-mail…

I don’t remember who the heck I’ve sent it to. Don’t laugh — if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming!

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