Issue 18.10
So after all the years of playing the dating game and analyzing each fellow for his husband potential, is there any way to be sure “he’s the one?” Fairy tales teach us that there is only one Prince Charming and his kiss will awaken us to true love. But reality is a little different, that’s why those childhood books are called fairy tales. In dating, we are only showing our best side to the other person to impress them. That’s where the expression…”wait till the honeymoon’s over” comes in. Even the most perfect spouse has faults and little habits that are annoying. Just ask your college roommate or closest friend or sibling for a list of your faults. But somehow we assume that meeting “the right one” guarantees us happiness forever after, back to the fairy tale mentality again.
It’s an easy philosophy to buy into, especially as a young person before life has gotten to you with its disappointments and trials. What if there are many “ones” that you could marry and find happiness with? You just need to find someone that you want to try this grand adventure called marriage with and the commitment to not give up on your relationship at the first argument.
Romantic love can be very intense and fills you with nothing but dreams of your perfect marriage. “Our honeymoon will never be over” you promise each other. Then comes reality. “Why does she squeeze the toothpaste in the middle? How come he never picks up his socks? I thought she knew how to cook. She calls this meat loaf? He’d rather play football with the guys than come home to be with me.”
It has been said that “life is what happens while you are making other plans.” Nowhere is this truer than in marriage. Despite all the books, courses and discussions with parents, nothing can prepare you for 24/7 living together that marriage requires. So the first few months are a real adjustment as your passion cools and reality sets in. Hopefully you haven’t kept too many personality quirks from your partner and are able to have a sense humor about your new life together.
There is also the possibility that the person you married will morph into an entirely different person because of your future experiences together. Nothing is as constant as change. You will change also.