Issue 20.13
Caring for patients with Alzheimer’s and dementia is difficult and often challenging for primary caregivers and health professionals alike. The difficulty in caring for such patients is due perhaps in part to erroneous perceptions and expectations we have towards these individuals. When we accept people the way they are and understand their inability to respond as normal folks because of their illness, we will naturally have more compassion for them.
Most of us desire order in our lives and expect orderly and logical responses when dealing with other adults. Patients with mental illnesses often do not make sense in their conversation. Recognizing this and letting go of our expectations for appropriate responses while conversing with them will help in caring for loved ones who suffer from a mental disease.
A public feeling towards persons with Alzheimer’s is that they are not a whole person. This is revealed in the language we use when speaking about them. Often we say that the person is not all there. In truth, the person suffering from dementia is a whole person, spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically, even though their mental capacities may be impaired. They are whole and complete in who they are just like us.
We don’t think of a child with autism or Down ’s syndrome as not being a whole person. We just love them unconditionally no matter how they behave or whether they make sense while carrying on a conversation with us. We can love adults suffering from a mental illness in the same way. They too want our respect and understanding.
Often we feel overwhelmed when dealing with Alzheimer’s patients. The time, patience and effort it takes in caring for such individuals may scare us. The road ahead seems long, arduous and uncertain. We may wonder if we have the stamina and ability to journey down this road gracefully with the love and patience that will be needed.
Our parents gave us lots of time, patience and love to raise us as children. It took a lot of effort on their part. Remembering this will give us a greater understanding in what it takes to care for an older person who is behaving as a child because of limited mental capacities.
Dealing with a loved one’s mental disease is an opportunity to learn the truth that we are not always in control of life. However, we are always in control of how we choose to respond and care for others who need us on this journey of life.
Rev. Luigi Persichetti is the spiritual counselor for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and retired Unity minister from Unity Center of Positive Living in St. George.