Issue 47.15
The holiday season is upon us and this is such a fun and magical time of year for many of us. The holidays are a time to celebrate with family and friends and enjoy a little needed time off work if possible. Some of us look forward to this time of year all year long…beginning in January!
However, for those who have lost a loved one, sometimes the Holidays can be difficult. With Thanksgiving week upon us, those who are grieving might wonder, “How can I be thankful when I feel so much pain?”
Leading expert on grief and grief counselor Alan Wolfelt said, “Since love does not end with death, holidays may result in a renewed sense of personal grief—a feeling of loss unlike that experienced in the routine of daily living. Society encourages you to join in the holiday spirit, but all around you the sounds, sights and smells trigger memories of the one you love who has died.”
Let me share with you a few things from Dr. Wolfelt and others that I have found has helped others who have experienced this increased grief during the Holidays.
Gratitude is powerful! Having and “Attitude of Gratitude” is beneficial to all of us more than just once a year at Thanksgiving.
Dr. Robert Emmons, who has made his life work a study of gratitude, said this,
“For more than a decade, I’ve been studying the effects of gratitude on physical health, on psychological well-being, and on our relationships with others. In a series of studies, my colleagues and I have helped people systematically cultivate gratitude, usually by keeping a “gratitude journal” in which they regularly record the things for which they’re grateful. Gratitude journals and other gratitude practices often seem so simple and basic; in our studies, we often have people keep gratitude journals for just three weeks. And yet the results have been overwhelming. We’ve studied more than one thousand people, from ages eight to 80, and found that people who practice gratitude consistently report a host of benefits: Stronger immune systems, less bothered by aches and pains, lower blood pressure, exercise more and take better care of their health, sleep longer and feel more refreshed upon waking, higher levels of positive emotions, more alert, alive, and awake, more optimism and happiness ,more helpful, generous, and compassionate, more forgiving, feel less lonely and isolated.”
A Gratitude Journal may be worth a try. Even for those of us who may not be grieving the loss of a loved one. Also we need to keep in mind that there are no simple answers. There is no magic formula that makes everything better again.
Back to Dr. Alan Wolfelt,
“No simple guidelines exist that will take away the hurt you are feeling. As you read through this article, remember that by being tolerant and compassionate with yourself, you will continue to heal. As you approach the holidays, remember: grief is both a necessity and a privilege. It comes as a result of giving and receiving love. Don’t let anyone take your grief away. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself. And allow yourself to be surrounded by loving, caring people.”
Please contact us for information on Dr. Wolfelt’s full article on Helping Yourself Heal During the Holiday Season. Happy Holidays to you all. Jimmie Hughes.
Jimmie Hughes can be contacted at Hughes Mortuary, 435-674-5000.