Issue 50.15
With the Holiday season upon us, I thought I would address a few critical elements of grief and mourning that may be of some help to those living alongside the loss of dear loved one.
First of all, it is vital to understand that grief is not an illness or condition that requires fixing. We are NOT broken because of our grief. Elements of today’s world seem to require a quick fix and instant gratification, neither of which encourages us to explore or understand our emotions. Our grief response is a true measurement of our love for the person who has died. Indeed, the only way to reconcile our loss is by integrating our memories of the person we have lost, while finding meaning and purpose in our lives once again. This is especially important to remember during times of celebration.
Secondly, experiencing and expressing feelings of loss is NOT a reflection of a lack of faith. When the physical presence of someone we have loved is no longer with us it is natural to experience physical, mental, emotional and spiritual suffering. In fact, the normal expression of loss often increased ones faith in their beliefs regarding life and death. Expressing both loss and faith is one of the greatest gifts we can give those around us, especially during times when traditions are binging celebrated.
Third, authentic grief work is the deliberate effort to explore our thoughts and feelings as we come to terms with our new reality and redefine what life is like without our loved one. This requires courage and determination. Recent research indicated that the tears shed during periods of grief are filled with large amounts of endorphins, the natural chemical in our bodies that create our sense of wellbeing. Time alone does not promote healing. True grief work could be the best gift you give yourself; your deceased loved one as well as those who love you.
Finally, give the gift of gratitude to yourself and those around you by remembering how resilient you are for having loved and loss, yet found meaning and purpose in life once again.
For more ideas on ways to experience the holiday as you grieve, please contact Kathy McKean at Journey of Hope Hospice and ask about our complimentary Bereavement support services.
Kathy can be contacted at 435-703-9286.