Columnists

Funeral Misconceptions

Issue 31.17

Funerals make us too sad.

When someone we love or know dies, we are sad and it can be painful.  Funerals provide a safe place for us to embrace and share our pain.  Funerals are a celebration life, positive, uplifting, supportive, tutorial and reaffirming of our faith and beliefs.

Funerals are inconvenient.   

Taking a few hours to acknowledge your love and respect for a family member or fiend who passed and your support for survivors is not an inconvenience, but a privilege.

Funerals are just for burials.

Visitation and funerals are conducted in conjunction with burials and cremation.  The burial or cremation is simply the final disposition.

Funerals are only for religious people.

Many funerals include spiritual elements, but secular services are also appropriate and healing.

Funerals are meaningless.

They needn’t be.  Planning with family, clergy and your experienced funeral director can and should give funerals meaning through personalization, comforting ceremony and established religious rite or procedure.  Ceremonies are also more meaningful when they include reflection of the uniqueness of the person who died.  “Meaning funerals are rites of passage that help us move from life before a death to life after a death.  They help families and friends support one another, embrace their feelings and embark on the journey to transcendence.”  Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD

The Funeral helps confirm the reality and finality of death. Provides a climate for mourning and the expression of grief.  Allows the sorrows of one to become the sorrows of many.  Is one of the few times loves is given and not expected in return.  Is a vehicle for the community to pay its respects. Encourages the affirmation of religious faith . Is a declaration that life has been lived as well as a sociological statement that a death has occurred.  from “The Funeral From Ancient Egypt to Present Day America”

Just as grief has many dimensions and is experienced in various ways, funerals are also unique.  There’s no such thing as a ‘standard’ funeral.  A funeral should match the spirit, personality and beliefs of the person who died and the family and friends left behind.  Religious or non-religious, there are many ways to incorporate personalization into the ceremony. As funeral directors we can provide suggestions, options and guidelines if you’re unsure how to proceed.

Ron Metcalf may be contacted at Metcalf Mortuary 435-673-4221.

 

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