Columnists

Tips for Helping Others Heal

Issue 45.17

Because all of us at some point will suffer the loss of a loved one.  We will also experience having the opportunity to help a close friend, family member or co-worker also deal with the death of a loved one or friend. It is important that we do our best to help others heal.

Don’t let discomfort, fear or uncertainty stand in the way of reaching out to someone who recently lost a loved one.  When you feel ready to help someone work through their grief, consider these tips for what to say and do.

Provide practical help. Go beyond saying “If there’s anything I can do, let me know” Decide on a specific task you can help with and make the offer.  One such example is during the funeral process.  Many families appreciate a display table of their loved one’s life that can be displayed at the viewing and funeral.  Step in and take the burden of set up and take down for them.  This kind of simple help goes along way.

Be a good listener. Some people need to talk about their loss – the person, their memories, related events etc. Allow grievers to tell their stories and express their feelings.

Show patience.  There is now set time or schedule when it comes to grief, or how we go about moving forward.  Give those in mourning permission to grieve for as long or short a time as needed.  A close friend who experienced the loss of a child asked the question “How long until I feel anything” My answer was simple.  “I don’t know but you will”

Encourage self-care. Suggest they remember personal/physical needs, postpone major decisions, allow themselves to grieve and recover. They rely on your support in getting back into these activities.

People often forget that the stages of grief are responses to feelings that can last for as little as minutes and hours up to weeks, months or years.  We don’t consistently enter and leave each stage.  We may experience one move to another and return back to the first one.

The most important thing to remember is to do something and don’t stop just because those in grief aren’t ready yet.  Be patient and most of all a friend.

For more information or resources call (435) 673-4221

 

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