Issue 50.09

Thinking back of your early childhood days, what special sounds bring back pleasant memories?  For me, it’s the train’s whistle as it approaches an intersection.  Both my grandpa and dad worked on the railroad, so we lived in company housing near the tracks.  Trains rushed by all hours during the day and night with their loud rumbles.  You got used to the sound and missed it; if a particular train was late, you noticed.

The sound of neighborhood kids playing and dogs barking always lured me outside to play with my friends––two and four legged.  Happy memories of taking some of my dad’s tools and deliberately knocking down an old fence that separated my yard from my best boy friend’s house next door are still with me.  Quietly sneaking into my house and tiptoeing outside carrying a jar of peanut butter from the pantry to share with my hungry little preschool friends are fond childhood recollections.

Sitting in the quiet summer evenings on my grandparents back porch waiting for the next train to pass and talking about anything and nothing was our normal routine, as no one owned a TV to watch then.  Listening to the old radio play music of the time or talent shows or any of the popular drama shows was our main source of entertainment.  Sometimes my grandma would get out her fancy electric phonograph and play a record.  One of my favorites was “Red River Valley.”  Corny old Western tunes that recall a slower time when families had time to just sit and be together.

My grandma liked to tell me stories of her youth.  I can still remember the sound of Grandma’s laughter and Aunt Dora reading us stories.  Then there was the ring of the telephone as society progressed.  One long ring for our neighbor or two shorts for us.  Everyone shared a party line.  Talking on the phone was exciting, but long distance was expensive.

Other sounds from my youth were high school bands playing in parades, and circus shows when they came to town.  As a teenager, roller rinks with their canned music that you could dance to with your skates were popular.  Life would never be the same.  Popular performers were taking over the new movies that filled the movie theatres.  Now we had to be entertained.

What sounds do you recall from your childhood that bring you fond memories?  

The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>

Issue 49.09

We need to have practice funerals, times that we get together before a loved one passes away to celebrate their life and interact with them.  But that’s not how life happens.  My own grandmother’s death came suddenly when she was in the hospital just to be released after a bout with pneumonia.  She had just written a letter to one of her daughters saying…Don’t you worry. I’m so much better here.  Have the very best of care . Then a blood clot formed and quickly took her life.  We were all in shock at grandma’s sudden demise and wished we had visited her more often.  I lived about 100 miles away and because of college classes hadn’t been able to see her in the hospital.

With my own mother, her death came slowly after being diagnosed with a brain tumor.  She declined then fell into a coma and quietly left us.  Hospice was a great help with her situation, and family members who lived nearby were able to visit.  But it was at her funeral that the whole family came together for the first time in many years.  Unfortunately, my mom was not alive to enjoy the company of all her grandchildren and extended family.

We need to have more pre-funeral celebrations.  Maybe that’s what a family reunion is all about, but today’s families are too busy for gathering.  We live too far apart.  The tight knit family in the same community is a thing of the past.  We may twitter and email but we’re lacking the physical contacts-the hugs, kisses and conversations that we had in earlier times with our extended family.

Next summer I will be celebrating my 70^th birthday, which seems impossible because I feel much younger inside!  I’m trying to get my whole family together for a reunion but they are too busy.  So, it looks like I’ll have to wait till my real funeral to have them together.  I’ve written my life story and memories of my family to leave behind, but would like to have the physical contact and interaction that comes only from being close in person.

How about you?  Is there someone you need to visit who might not be there tomorrow?  It’s not only age that takes us away from this life, but accidents and illnesses that can come at any age.  Isn’t it time we made more time for family?  

The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>

Issue 48.09

Unfortunately, there does come the time in our lives when our parents need our constant care.  Not able to live independently without some assistance, we may discover it’s time for us to parent our parents.  It’s not an easy transition for any of us.  I recall at my mom’s funeral, my oldest son saying to his younger brothers…Well, we need to think ahead of how we’re going to take care of mom.  That was a strange situation because here I was the person who had just been responsible for my mom’s 24/7 care, finances, health needs, and my son was already thinking ahead to my possible declining years.

First of all, he needs to know that not everyone has to have help in their golden years.  Many seniors can live independently quite nicely without support from their families.  Others like my mom suffer from ill health and need either family care or an assisted care facility.  My mom lived alone till she was 88, then realized she couldn’t continue to take care of her home, shop for groceries, drive to medical appointments, etc. without help.  Being her only child and living some 200 miles away didn’t help the situation.  Not wanting to live with family and disrupt our lives, mom opted to go to an assisted care center in her area.

Moving her and organizing all her belongings gathered from a lifetime was not easy.  It was extremely stressful and took much patience, probably as much as mom had experienced parenting me.  Then helping her make the transition from total independence to living in an assisted care center was even more difficult.  As her physical health and mobility declined, she became more childlike.  I had to step in and become the all knowing parent-kind, loving and available.  Making decisions for her that she didn’t always like or agree upon, knowing she had a terminal illness, and trying to prepare her for death was demanding.  How do you prepare your parent to let go of their life and face the fears of the unknown future.  You try to do so lovingly, all the time dealing with your own confused emotions of anger, relief and grief.  It’s a challenge.

Just as she had spent her life teaching and preparing me for what was ahead, now it was my turn to respectfully try to prepare my parent to depart from her loved ones.

 The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>

Issue 47

What’s happened to common courtesy?  Has it gone out of style?  When I was a young girl, you never called an adult by their first given name, but out of respect you addressed them as Mr. or Mrs. Jones or Miss. Nelson (never Ms. Smith or by their first given name.)  I remember the shock I felt the first time that my son’s teenage friend called me Lin.  I stopped in my tracks and thought…What did he call me?  I felt silly correcting him…Did you mean Mrs. Floyd?  Somehow the respect between adults and youth has gotten lost and with it common courtesy.  Although, most people today still refer to their teachers also their doctors properly.

Then, there’s the matter of labeling.  Consider this experience I had at my doctor’s office recently with one of his assistants.  A young girl (twenty something) kept calling me dear.  For some reason that always rubs me the wrong way.  You wouldn’t call someone your own age dear.  They would probably wonder what was wrong with you.  But this woman called me that several times.  Each time I controlled my urge to set her straight.  Wanting to tell her that I may look old to her, but I am not 80 yet and won’t be ready to be called dear, sweetie, or honey until I have one foot in the grave.  Maybe she didn’t know whether to call me Lin or Mrs. Floyd?

Consider also the problem of thank you notes when receiving gifts.  As a young person, on special occasions I always made a list of any present I received and who sent it.  If they lived a distance away, I would write them a thank you note.  Thank you notes are another common courtesy we’ve lost.  Emails do count but there’s something special about the handwritten note and the effort to put it in an envelope, address, stamp and send it off. (Most brides today still do write thank yous.)

Both my grandmothers always remembered my birthday.  I could depend on them to send a thoughtful card and some money in the mail.  I would be sure to quickly write them a thank you.  Now if I don’t remind my grown kids, they forget I have a birthday.  (Although I always remember their special occasions with a card and present of some kind.)  Times change I know, but sometimes not for the better.  The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact lin@sunrivertoday.com.

Issue 46.09

Raised as an only child, I never knew that kids were unkind to each other.  I had just transferred to Tintic Elementary School from Salt Lake City where my widowed mom had tried to work full time to support us, and go to secretarial school.  After experiencing problems with babysitters, she decided we’d move to rural Eureka to live with her mom, my grandma.

My new first grade teache,r Mrs. Anderson, welcomed me to school, but I soon discovered not everyone else was as nice.  During recess two girls stopped me in the bathroom and wouldn’t let me return to class.  Trying to make me stick my foot in the toilet, I had no idea how to handle this situation except to cry, which got me taunts of cry baby.  Finally when the bell sounded, we all returned to class. I was silent about what had happened, fearful of my classmates’ retaliation.  I had met my first bullies.

This vivid memory stayed with me, and was never resolved.  Years later in junior high school, I would meet another bully in the form of a tall shy girl my own age who rode the same bus as I did.  I never understood why she was so mean to me.  When it was time for our 50^th high school reunion recently, she contacted me via www.classmates.com to apologize for her unkind actions long ago forgotten by me.  Through conversing with her through emails and a phone call, I began to remember and understand her misbehavior.  It seems that she was taunted by other girls at school because she was the minister’s daughter.  Then one day she decided out of frustration, after constantly being abused by classmates, to bully someone else.  Unfortunately I was the one she chose.

While traveling home after school, she had threatened me as we got off the bus.  She said she could see immediately in my eyes––tears of fear and hurt, and that really stopped her.  She didn’t beat me up but only walked away, and had never forgotten that day.  She didn’t tell anyone about it and especially not her parents.  We hadn’t talked about it even though we later went to four years of high school together, and carefully avoided each other.  Now after years of feeling guilty about the incident, she apologized.  Learning to grow up in a world of bullies wasn’t easy.

To purchase a collection of past columns in book format, contact lin@sunrivertoday.com

Issue 44.09

When was the last time your family doctor made a home visit when you or other members of your family were sick?  Today, when illness strikes, you drag yourself to the doctor’s office or the ER room at the local clinic or hospitals––if it’s after hours.  Your doctor’s home phone or location is a well kept secret, unavailable even in the case of emergency.  Physicians have so many patients today and refer problems to specialists.  It’s unusual for the same doctor to treat you from birth to death.

In Eureka, Utah, we had old Doc. Bailey who did it all––maternity cases through senility.  My grandmother was his untrained assistant who went with the good doctor on maternity cases.  She would be there to administer anesthetic to the laboring mother.  A simple cloth dampened with ether was used to help take off the edge of the woman’s pain.  Then grandma would remain at the mother’s side to help her with recovery and her household chores for 10 days to 2 weeks.  Dr. Bailey was like part of our family, a simple call to his office or home would bring him over day or night to treat your symptoms.  Unfortunately for us, those days are gone for most modern communities.

The early pioneers in Utah had very little health care and many women were called and trained by the LDS Church to be midwives.  My grandmother’s mother and another great grandmother served their communities this way.  Living in desolate places, they were sometimes the only medical help available and served as primitive doctors to all in need.  One of my great-grandfathers lived in Springville and was well known as a herbalist.  He was adept at mixing concoctions of different herbs together to fix any known ailment of the day.

There was no health insurance for families or individuals then.  You planned on staying healthy.  If you had illnesses your extended family was your only resource with no social security or Medicare available.  When my grandfather became ill with stomach cancer, that was the end of his income for my soon to be widowed grandmother and five dependent children.  I’m not sure how she paid his doctor bills and interment that was probably just a simple pine box.  Maybe their hardy lifestyle helped them stay healthier than we seem to be, but they also had shorter life spans than we enjoy today.  (To purchase a collection of past columns in book format, contact lin@sunrivertoday.com)

Issue 43.09

Nowadays with all the vaccinations and shots available, many common childhood diseases such as rheumatic fever, typhoid, measles, small pox and polio have almost been eradicated in developed countries.  Knowledge of how to treat these diseases or even what caused them in earlier times was lacking.  There were only home herbal treatments.

When my grandmother was young, she was stricken with rheumatic fever and became very ill.  Her baby brother George had died earlier with rheumatic fever when it came to their community.  I recall her telling me that “I got rheumatism in my legs, and my feet turned right around backwards.”  In time she recovered and her feet returned to normal, but how frightening for mothers in those days, not knowing when or if their family would become ill or how to treat them.  Many families were quarantined to prevent spreading of the disease.  This was the case with the influenza outbreak in the early 1900s.

My grandmother continues, “When I went to school, it was a one room and I never did graduate because my mother got sick and I had to stay home and do the work and take care of all the kids.  I learned to mix bread when I was 6 years old.  We had to wash on the board for a long time then later Dad got a washing machine.”  Disease took it toll on early families regardless of age, occupation or financial status.

I remember a childhood illness of mine that started with a cold then turned into pneumonia.  My grandmother quickly came to the aid of my mother with her experience from raising three children.  I was bundled up and a hot mustard plaster applied to my chest to help my breathing.  Then mentholatum was put on my chest.  With time and tender care, I was restored to my usual good health.

During my childhood there was a great fear of polio.  I was warned not to get chilled or I could catch this frightening disease that crippled many children.  Some individuals even ended up in iron lungs for assistance with their breathing or wearing braces the rest of their lives to support their legs for walking.  Nowadays, children need have no fear for many diseases of my childhood as they can be vaccinated or have shots to protect them.  Unfortunately, we are finding new diseases like the swine flu to fight. (To purchase a collection of past columns in book format, contact lin@sunrivertoday.com)

Issue 42.09

Ever look back and wonder how your spent your childhood?  Growing up in rural Utah, I had a special playhouse in my grandma’s attic complete with a crib for my baby doll plus a little table and chairs with a small cupboard to hold my tea set.  Playing house was the name of the game.  Pretending to be the mom, and taking care of my baby (doll) filled many happy hours.  Dressing-up with my girl friends in my mom’s old clothes and high heels was great fun.  We could be gypsies or grownups going to a party.  Acting like a doctor or nurse using my medical kit, I could give shots or make slings, take temperatures or listen for my patient’s heartbeat, etc. I suppose I was trying on future adult roles in my pretending.

As a preschooler, I remember having a mixed group of friends that included boys and girls.  We loved to play outside regardless of the weather.  In the winter, we made snowmen and used our sleighs to pull one another.  In summer, we built forts or hideouts, and used our creative imaginations to pretend we were cowboys and Indians fighting each other.  Outside games popular in my mom and grandmother’s days like Hide and Seek, and Kick the Can were also popular.  During school recesses, I liked to hang upside down on the monkey bars and twirl around or play on the big swings and teeter totters.  The girls had a game of jacks and the boys loved to shoot marbles.

Growing older, I got interested in playing board games with my best girl friend.  We loved to sit down for an afternoon after school or on the weekend pursuing riches and success with Monopoly.  I even learned how to gamble by playing Poker for pennies.  Then there was Canasta-a complicated card game popular at the time with adults too.

Evenings were spent doing homework or watching the limited TV programs available.  A favorite group activity during my Jr. High days was going to the roller rink with friends.  I always hoped to be picked by a certain boy for the couples skate only.  During high school, I enjoyed sports after classes like field soccer and volleyball.  Active in the Home Economics club, Scholarship Society, and Chemistry Club plus dancing in Drama productions kept me busy trying to find my place in the world.  

(To purchase a collection of past columns in book format, contact lin@sunrivertoday.com

Issue 41.09

Ever look back and wonder how your spent your childhood?  Growing up in rural Utah, I had a special playhouse in my grandma’s attic complete with a crib for my baby doll plus a little table and chairs with a small cupboard to hold my tea set.  Playing house was the name of the game.  Pretending to be the mom, and taking care of my baby (doll) filled many happy hours.  Dressing-up with my girl friends in my mom’s old clothes and high heels was great fun.  We could be gypsies or grownups going to a party.  Acting like a doctor or nurse using my medical kit, I could give shots or make slings, take temperatures or listen for my patient’s heartbeat, etc. I suppose I was trying on future adult roles in my pretending.

As a preschooler, I remember having a mixed group of friends that included boys and girls.  We loved to play outside regardless of the weather.  In the winter, we made snowmen and used our sleighs to pull one another.  In summer, we built forts or hideouts, and used our creative imaginations to pretend we were cowboys and Indians fighting each other.  Outside games popular in my mom and grandmother’s days like Hide and Seek, and Kick the Can were also popular.  During school recesses, I liked to hang upside down on the monkey bars and twirl around or play on the big swings and teeter totters.  The girls had a game of jacks and the boys loved to shoot marbles.

Growing older, I got interested in playing board games with my best girl friend.  We loved to sit down for an afternoon after school or on the weekend pursuing riches and success with Monopoly.  I even learned how to gamble by playing Poker for pennies.  Then there was Canasta-a complicated card game popular at the time with adults too.

Evenings were spent doing homework or watching the limited TV programs available.  A favorite group activity during my Jr. High days was going to the roller rink with friends.  I always hoped to be picked by a certain boy for the couples skate only.  During high school, I enjoyed sports after classes like field soccer and volleyball.  Active in the Home Economics club, Scholarship Society, and Chemistry Club plus dancing in Drama productions kept me busy trying to find my place in the world.  

(To purchase a collection of past columns in book format, contact lin@sunrivertoday.com)

Issue 40.09

If you dig for your roots, you’ll eventually find some colorful characters that are related to you.  My great grandfather Wm. Marion Johnson Sr. was one of those––a mysterious stranger who deserted his wife and five sons in the late 1800s, and was never heard from again.  He came from Knox County Ohio.  William’s dad died in 1854 leaving a widow with eight children to support on the family farm.  The youngest child was only three years old and the only girl among seven sons.  William was the third oldest.  Three of his brothers enlisted in the Civil War while he stayed home helping his mom on the farm.  Two brothers were killed in the conflict and only one returned.  After the war, he left for Nevada probably by train to strike it rich in mining.

Land research showed him in 1870 in Elko, Nevada working several mining claims.  Later through local newspapers, I found him in the saloon business in Gold Mountain, Nevada with a partner who has a distillery.  Through census records, I traced his movements in gold rush towns starting in Nevada and ending in Frisco, Utah.  His occupation is listed as a saloonkeeper in Spanish Fork and Silver City in the Utah city directories.  He may have realized there was easier money to be earned working indoors in a saloon rather than in the dangerous mines far underground.

A saloon called for pool tables and other furnishings to enable his customers to relax and gamble some of their hard earned money while quenching their thirst.  Despite all these activities, he managed to marry a much younger local girl who had emigrated with her parents from Iceland to Utah.  He had six young sons with her before wanderlust struck William; and he was off to the Gold Rush in Alaska to get rich.  After several years away, his wife remarried.  Unfortunately for everyone, the wanderer returned.  Seeing the dilemma he was in, William disappeared and was never heard from again.

How did it change my life learning more about this unique relative?  I came to realize that he was very human with weaknesses, problems, and probably struggled to make a living.  Being a saloonkeeper, he may have also had problems with drinking and gambling that complicated his life.  I could sympathize with his wife and her struggles.  They became real people to me and not just names.

Lin Floyd <lin@sunrivertoday.com> is the author of LOOKING BACK…at the “Good Old Days,” a collection of her weekly articles about growing up in the old West.