Issue 52.09

As I write this, it’s a week before Christmas.  Most of us are still scurrying around to purchase those final gifts for family and friends.  As I reflect on the meaning and sacredness of this holy season, my mind turns towards the spiritual gifts that Christmas offers us.   

One thought that keeps running through my mind is:  The best Christmas gifts are unseen.  We don’t find them under the tree or in “the stockings hung by the chimney with care.”   What are the intangible gifts of Christmas?

The birth of Jesus at Bethlehem created a spiritual shift in the universe and the gift of a new spirit was born in humanity.  This birth changed our relationship to God.  Through the birth of the Christ child, God expressed unlimited love and compassion for all of humanity.  The gift of this divine love fills us with joy as a new spirit is born in us.  We become aware that we are loved unconditionally by God. 

God loves us as His sons and daughters.   Living into the spiritual truth that we are one family in God, we experience the gift of peace.  As we practice the spiritual truths of Oneness and being one family in our daily lives, then “Peace on Earth, Goodwill to all” can become a reality for us.  

With the birth of the Christ child, a new spirit is born in our hearts.  May the light of that first Christmas morning shine in our hearts where Christ is born in us today.  May all beings be filled with light and love.  And may all hearts be open and receptive to God’s gifts. 

These invisible gifts of Christmas are good reason for all of us to sing out: 

“Joy to the World!  The Lord is come.  Let every heart prepare Him room, and heaven and nature sing… the wonders of His Love.” 

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Church of Positive Living in St. George. 

Issue 46.09

Making our “final arrangements” is one of the things we will all have to face sooner or later.  This becomes a more immediate concern for someone who is on hospice.  Often a patient will discuss this matter with me and indicate their wish to have everything “taken care of” so it is not a burden to the family.  Frequently the family members also want to be involved in making decisions regarding the final arrangements for their loved one.

This can be an opportunity for the family to draw closer together and experience the deep love they have for one another.  It can be a joyous occasion – believe it or not.  It’s all a matter of how the dying person and his/her family decide to approach this final “experience of life.”  In today’s culture, we often choose to celebrate a person’s life rather than mourn them.  We will certainly miss their presence amongst us, but we know and understand that death is a reality of life, just as birth is.

Several years ago I was invited to officiate at a friend’s memorial service.  He had discussed the service beforehand with his wife and family members.  He even wrote his own eulogy which I was privileged to read.  He planned where, when and how it was going to take place.   He even chose the scripture readings and music for the occasion.  It was one of the most uplifting services I ever attended. 

Everyone left the service feeling joy and “closer” to my friend than before the service because of his sharing his feeling for family and friends — especially his children.  There were kind words of encouragement for each of them in his eulogy.  We left the chapel feeling the warmth of his spirit, love for each of us and the joy of knowing he had lived a full and happy life according to his own statements and was ready to “Go Home.” 

How a family handles the “final arrangements” for their loved one determines whether it becomes an experience of peace, love and closure for all involved or if the experience leaves them feeling sad and incomplete. 

Unfortunately, some families argue with one another about how things should be done at this time.  This causes an unnecessary hardship for everyone.  It can be a final act of love to the dying person to grant their wishes even if you don’t entirely agree with the way they want to do it. 

Let your love for the dying person be your guide in helping them make their final arrangements.  

Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Church of Positive Living in St. George. 

Issue 41.09

“Stop!  I don’t want to talk about death and dying.”  “Don’t even mention the words in front of my mother, father, etc.”  I often hear these comments from families of hospice patients.  Death and dying are not topics of conversation we are comfortable with as a culture and society — even when the time is appropriate to have such a conversation.  

According to a recent study that was made by a prominent medical clinic, 80% of us wish to die at home surrounded by family and loved ones.  However, this same study revealed 70% or more of us die in a hospital alone and among strangers whom we don’t even know!  Why is dying in the comfort of our home and among family such a contradiction when it’s what we most desire?

One reason is the lack of understanding of doctors and family members to have this needed conversation with and for the terminally ill person.  Doctors by their training and philosophy don’t want to have this conversation.  Their professional stance is to do all they can for the terminally ill person.  Talking about death and dying is not part of their normal traditional training.

This was brought home to me recently during a conversation I was having with a friend about hospice.  Her father was placed in the hospital with chronic heart failure.  The doctor did not inform his family that he was dying.  Finally, a nurse told the family that their father was dying and the best thing they could do for him was to take him home.  They took that advice and he died peacefully at home surrounded by his family. 

With the advent of palliative care, this needed conversation on death and dying is taking place more frequently among medical professionals and families but we have a long way to go before we can reverse the statistic quoted earlier. 

If we consider the option of our loved ones dying alone and among strangers rather than surrounded by family and close friends, it will give us the courage to begin this important conversation. 

Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Church of Positive Living in St. George.

Issue 30.09

Often people hesitate to be on Hospice because they think it means “the end” – either for themselves or a loved one.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  The purpose of Hospice is to help people to live life “full-out” until the so called “end” comes!

I was reminded of this last month during a couple of visits to my patients.  One patient had the opportunity to experience the Grand Canyon “up close and personal.”  Thanks to a donation by the Garth Last Foundation, he was able to fulfill a final wish to fly over the Grand Canyon.  When the pilot suggested they fly at a higher altitude so the ride would not be so bumpy, the patient said “No way – this is awesome.”  Even though the ride was difficult for him, he wanted to experience the spectacular beauty of the canyon for himself.  A month later he passed away, “a happy camper.”

Another patient defied the odds by fulfilling his dream of attending his 30^th Marine Reunion in Branson, Missouri.  This was the #1 item on his “Bucket List.”  The doctors had not held out much hope that this would be possible.  On a recent visit with him, we joked about starting a new “Bucket List” which he happily did.  The first item was to celebrate his 84^th birthday with friends and family, which he accomplished last week! 

Another item on his new list was a real surprise to me, when he showed up at Unity Church.  I was deeply moved and honored that attending our Sunday service was an important enough item to put on his “List.”  After hearing his beautiful voice during the service, my wife invited him to sing with our Ensemble group.  He enthusiastically added that item to his new “Bucket List.”

The two examples above are some of the possibilities for hospice patients when they approach being on Hospice with a positive attitude of making the best of what life has to offer to them.  May we also discover our own joy in living life “full-out.” 

To obtain more information on the Garth Last Foundation and its service of fulfilling needs and wishes to hospice patients, please contact Jim McDonald at 634-9300.

Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Church of Positive Living in St. George. 

Issue 25 & 26

Being a caregiver is one of the most stressful tasks we may have in life.  It puts us to the test as far as being patient with ourselves as well as with the loved one we are caring for.  Sometimes, a caregiver under stress needs a rest from their task to regain balance and equilibrium. 

One caregiver stated:  “I’m losing my patience and become so upset and angry over little things.  I take it out on my husband because he keeps trying to do things he no longer is able to do.  I feel ashamed of myself for acting this way.”  This is from a wife who loves her husband dearly and has been married for over fifty years.  

We all need a respite – a timeout from being under stress.  This is especially true for caregivers.  However, to talk about a respite to a caregiver almost seems contrary to their purpose.  They want to care for their loved one and be available 24/7.  To say: ”You need a rest” appears to be at cross purposes when their loved one needs them most right now!

Understanding, patience and love are what the ill person needs.  But these caring qualities can become skewed when we are stressed out and can’t experience them for ourselves.  We lose sight of the terminally ill person’s own inner struggle to accept the fact he/she can no longer perform simple daily living skills such as dressing themselves, bathing or simply going to the bathroom on one’s own.  Losing these abilities can be emotionally devastating for the ill person.

When a patient and caregiver reach a point of impatience, and become angry and resentful towards one another, it is time for a respite.  A time out can help restore balance and understanding to their relationship.

A respite in Hospice terms is a period of rest for both parties.  Hospice recognizes this need in caring for the terminally ill person and provides this service for the individual.  A respite is usually a five day period where the ill person is placed in a care facility so the caregiver(s) can also get some rest.  Thus, a respite is not only for the patient, but also for the benefit of the caregiver. 

A respite, in fact, is something we all need when life gets to the point where we begin to lose our balance and ability to express love, patience, and understanding to the people we love.   

Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Church of Positive Living in St. George

On a recent home visit, the spouse of one of our patients praised the wonderful assistance she is receiving since her husband started on hospice services.  She felt so relieved now that hospice has stepped in to help her husband and her handle the ongoing challenges of dealing with his terminal illness.  Knowing the hospice team is there to support her in caring for her spouse has taken a great load off her mind.  She stated she had been “beside herself” about what to do before they came on service.  She then asked why her neighbor, whose husband just died, wasn’t able to receive hospice services.  “She certainly needed it and could have used it,” she said. 

I couldn’t give an exact answer to her question since I didn’t know all the circumstances of that family.  Unfortunately, there is still a large segment of our population who don’t know about the availability of hospice services and how it can assist families dealing with a terminal illness.

As a hospice chaplain, my role is to help educate the community about the benefits of hospice.  Recently, a local church invited me and our volunteer coordinator, Debbie Miller, to speak at their luncheon group about Hospice.  After our talk, a number of people expressed surprise at how much hospice could help families who need it.  

It occurred to me that we at SUHCH need to do more in “getting the word out” to the public.  One way this can be done is by giving educational presentations regarding Hospice services to various churches and organizations here in St. George.  So, I am asking you, our readers, to help me do this by recommending that your bishop, minister, priest or chairperson extend an invitation for us to speak at your church or organization so we can spread the “Good News” about Hospice.  You can call Debbie Miller at 634-9300 to arrange a time when we can do this for you. 

By helping us get the word out, you will be providing a great service to our community and making a difference in the lives of people who are struggling with caring for loved ones who are terminally ill - perhaps even your own neighbor.  

Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Church of Positive Living in St. George.

Recently I heard a wonderful story about Mother Teresa which filled me with awe and inspiration.  Tony Robbins, the nationally known motivational speaker and coach, had the occasion of meeting Mother Teresa, while she was in Tijuana, Mexico to help the poor and the dying.  On meeting her, he asked:  “What gives you ecstasy, or what juices you up?”  Tony was a little embarrassed for asking this saintly nun such a question and felt he had put his foot in his mouth.  Mother Teresa just laughed and said:  “What gives me ecstasy is to see a person die with a smile on their face.”  That is probably not number one on most people’s list, but it was what brought joy to Mother Teresa.

She wasn’t always that way.  In fact, when she was forty years old, Mother Teresa was a school teacher in India teaching the children of the wealthy.  She was leading a comfortable and normal life for a nun of her education and professional status.  One day while walking the streets of Calcutta, a man who was dying tripped into her arms begging her:  “Sister, sister, please help me!”  She took him to three different hospitals hoping they would take care of him.  All three hospitals refused to take the man in because he was from the lower caste of their society.  Finally she took him home where a few days later, he died happily in her arms.  This was a life changing event for Mother Teresa.  On that day she made a promise to God that no one in the range of her influence would die without dignity and love.  This became the standard that she lived by the rest of her life.

She is indeed an inspiration to all of us who serve the sick and dying.  I’m sure I can say without a doubt the rest of the hospice team sees this as their standard also:  That every person we serve has the opportunity to die with dignity and love.  That is our ultimate purpose and goal as a hospice team. 

Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Church of Positive Living in St. George. 

So often we make choices for the wrong reasons because of misunderstanding or misinformation.  Taking steps to make sure we have the correct information and understanding about our life situation is important in making the right choices for ourselves.  This is especially true when it comes to providing medical care for ourselves or a loved one. 

When facing a terminal illness it is critical to have the correct information about our options so we can make the right choices for ourselves.  We all want to live as long as possible and to live our life in the most satisfying and comfortable way.  That is the reason Hospice is the best choice for the terminally ill.  Hospice is about living, not dying! 

Too often people are misinformed about hospice.  A common misconception is that choosing Hospice is misinterpreted to mean giving up hope or being resigned to dying.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Hospice is about providing the best possible care for the terminally ill to live life full out.  It provides the medical care and support for a person facing a terminal illness to obtain the best quality of life possible for themselves.

An important principle of Hospice is to provide life support measures for the terminally ill so they can live their life in freedom and dignity.  Hospice gives the person options to choose how, where, when and with whom they want to spend their life.  Indeed, the purpose of Hospice is to help the individual retain their dignity and empower them to continue making their own life choices. 

A professional interdisciplinary team of doctors, nurses, social workers, chaplains and volunteers assists the person and their family during their time of illness.  In addition, hospice includes a host of other services such as medical equipment, medication and drugs to manage pain, and short-term inpatient and respite care to support the primary caregiver as needed.  These are just a few of the available benefits for the person receiving Hospice care.   Virtually all the expenses related to the terminal illness of the patient are paid for by Medicare, with a few exceptions.

To choose Hospice is to choose life.   

If you or a loved one would like a free consultation to determine eligibility for hospice services, contact David Isom or Debbie Cox at Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice at 435-634-9300 or Lisa Ross at 435-635-9300 in Hurricane. 

Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Church of Positive Living in St. George.