Issue 31.10

I actually get excited thinking about writing my next article for the Senior Sampler.   It’s even somewhat soul searching as I stop to think about how I really feel about what I am thinking. It gives me the opportunity and privilege to expose my heart and mind. My intentions are to lift, share and convey my sentiments, and hopefully stir those tender feelings in you that we all posses; maybe, to actually stimulate you to shed a tear of memorable reflection or anticipation.

For example, who is your hero? What is your favorite book, movie or pastime? Do you enjoy life? What makes it all worthwhile? When are you most in harmony with both body and spirit? I would like to reflect on some of these questions with you. Keep in mind, these thoughts we have will one day determine the mark we leave on life.

For me, I want to leave the mark of Five Stars on everything I do, from my professional business to the brand I leave on the rump of my cows – my very best effort in everything! My favorite book is Charlie’s Monument.  My favorite movie is Sea Biscuit. My hero is Mr. Warren Hanning.  Mr. Hanning had faith in me; he gave me the chance in life I truly needed.  What a champion!

I love life. I especially enjoy my profession, serving my fellow-men and being genuinely concerned with their well-being, whatever their needs. It is most of the time respectfully true, that the nut does not fall far from the tree, like father like son. That would be the Five Star mark I would like to leave.

Ted Spilsbury is the owner of Spilsbury Mortuary, 110S. Bluff, St. George, and can be reached at 673-2454.

Issue 26.10

The “$6.00 Haircut” is my favorite TV advertisement.  It appeals to many of us because of the so-called “bargain” factor.  Because of our human nature it grabs our attention, but in the end, it might not be exactly what it’s advertised to be. As you might remember, the local barbershop owner sees a new shop move in across the street, advertising $6.00 haircuts, and he’s concerned about how the lower prices will affect his business.

This ad made me think about the concept of bargain-basement pricing, discounts and deals beyond belief.   As a result, on May 15th, I decided to experience a “real-deal” for myself, and decided to trim my own hair, which seemed a better deal than even the $6.00 haircut.

Using my moustache trimmer, which had been in the drawer for many years, and replacing the batteries, I began to cut.  First, I trimmed the hair around my ears then pulled the sides forward and cut off about an inch.  Before long I noticed the hair at my temples was standing straight!   A little more clipping would surely help, but no…  Now the sides stuck straight out too.  It looked worse than ever!  Do you think I could make this kind of a story up?  Not on your life!  Well, no amount of pomade would make it lie down or stay flat, so I got to experience what my real-deal haircut turned into.  Before sunset that day, at my request, my daughter-in-law, a hairdresser, came to see if she could blend the mess together. 

The next day I bought some butch wax – maybe the spiked look would be more becoming than what I saw in the mirror.  Well, today is June 7th, 23 days later, and it is obvious that my hair is still “fly-away-Bob, definitely inferior to what a professional barber would have done.

Appearance is important in my profession; so quite frankly, this little experiment has not been worth it.  Not even the local barber who advertised he Fixes $6.00 haircuts could have helped me.

Now for some people, a real-deal gives them a real lift, and a great feeling.  But for me, when it comes to Barber, Doctor, Lawyer, and even Funeral Director, cheapest is definitely not always best.

Issue 21.10

Funeral Directors are my heroes.  They are professionals who serve from their hearts.  They are kind, tender and loving minutemen and women, who respond promptly to a family’s call any time of the day or night. They extend themselves with confidence, compassion, and sincerity.  They are a select few who are seldom recognized for their fidelity and endurance. They are seldom the recipients of community awards or notoriety.  Nevertheless, they are true heroes to each and every family going through the humbling and painful trials of death.  The tender caring of our hometown Funeral Directors do not go unnoticed - it radiates in their countenance as they lovingly serve.  Oh, thank heaven for honorable, dedicated, and gifted Funeral Directors.

            Most everyone has a special spot in their heart for the one who has gently led them through the overwhelming experience of the death of a loved one.  We all have experienced life’s memorable moments; some delightful and fun, some shattering and painful.  In the midst of it all, we remember those who share the joy, and those who help us bear up through the sorrow.

              My first encounter with this reality was at age seven.  My nine year old sister fell out of a converted Studebaker funeral coach.  The top had been cut off, and Dad, a small town Funeral Director, was moonlighting as a tour guide for St. George’s 1st Dixie Sun Bus.  Well, to make a long story short, my sister fell from the bus as the family was returning home from the Washington County Fair, causing her death.  In my memory, this event was the most vivid reality of my childhood.  I remember how devastated Mother was, and I remember all those who came to console our family, especially my mother.  I also remember Dad in the background, lovingly attending to his daughter’s care.

            For many years I wondered if my mother would ever go through a day without crying.  It wasn’t until later that I realized the heartaches my Dad endured.  Not only was his heart broken too, but he needed to console and gently lead his whole family into healing and peace.  This experience, I am certain, validated to my father the divine role of the Funeral Director.

            As a Funeral Director, I have chosen to follow in my father’s footsteps. I, like him, have felt the warmth within as the confirmation of the loving Funeral Director is acknowledged.  When we, as Funeral Directors, experience within our own families the pain of death, we realize what an important role we play in society.

            Writing this article has been a gentle tool of healing for me.  I share these thoughts in fond memory of my dear departed father, LeGrande Spilsbury, who passed away in 2003, as well as my little sister, gone these many years.

            I am pleased and privileged to serve my community as a Funeral Director, and express my appreciation for all who have chosen this honorable profession.

Issue 16.10

Part 2

May I share a story of a true experience that happened to me?  A middle-aged father had passed away.  He had divorced three times and was, at the time of his death living alone, separated from his children for many years.  In conversations through the years, he had mentioned “When I die, just dispose of me the cheapest way you can.  Cremate me and spread my ashes wherever.”

When the time came to make arrangements for him, his family seriously considered a minimum disposal, as he’d requested.  As I counseled with the family, I pointed out that most likely he had expressed his desire for cremation to keep expenses down.  Their father probably had no idea that his family would need to experience, hear, and feel a final farewell to him.

Although the children had lived long distances from him, they all felt they needed to express their love and say “goodbye” in a more meaningful way.  Their pain was real and tender, but somewhat empty. 

With the help of extended family and some research into financial status, some insurance money was discovered that reached to cover the expenses.  The children decided to choose a full traditional service, keeping in mind their father’s wishes.

Once the family made the decision to move foreword with the funeral, I could sense a great sigh of relief as they attended to the many details.  They united together, each sharing precious memories as they remembered their childhoods and happy days.  The entire countenance of the occasion shifted from “What should we do?” to “Remember when?” as their memories came alive.

What is the value of this story?  It illustrates how planning ahead and talking things over with your children can make the process of final arrangements not only easier, but assures you and them that all your wishes are known and understood.

When it comes to your family, sentiments are real, and rising to the occasion is natural, as well as a duty.  We all need a meaningful moment to say “goodbye.”  Everyone is a little different, but when it comes to Mom and Dad, family and friends, we are all pretty much the same.  Our memories come alive as we reflect and pay respect to those whom we love.

Saying goodbye in a dignified manner is the “wink of approval” we all need.  It is a feeling of well-being, a time-out, allowing us as family and friends an opportunity to heal together.  Following our tender farewells, it is soon “back to living.”

Finances play an important role in planning a tribute to the life of your loved one.  I strongly encourage planning ahead, as it is not a question of if, but a matter of when.

Issue 11.10

(Part 1)

The price of funerals has almost doubled in the last 15 years, and the costs continue to rise.  In 1990, the average price for a full Traditional Funeral was $3,900.00.  Today, the typical expenditure for that same funeral is about $7,500.00.  These prices may seem out of control but the truth is, the funeral profession has held costs down considerably better than other industries, merchants, facilities, and living expenses in general. 

For example, a Ford Mustang, 15 years ago, was around $9,000 to $12,000.  Today that car ranges from $28,000 and up – more than double in price. 

The average wedding 15 years ago was approximately $8,000.  Today, one could expect to spend $10,000.00 to $100,000.00, and that doesn’t include the honeymoon! 

Homes in 1990 were under $85,000, and today a starter home begins about $150,000, with many homes a million dollars or more.

It’s unbelievable to think that 15 years from now a full Traditional Funeral could cost on average $15,000.  But when you compare that increase percentage to other escalating prices, it seems quite a bargain.

Have the costs of today’s funeral services, with the accompanying goods and selections, forced families to choose options that they really don’t want?  Do families have to settle for alternative choices, where their loved ones are shuffled off to a third-party provider out of state, not knowing if protective care has been the priority?  Have they been transported through local “shuttle” services in the passenger luggage compartment?  I would hope not! 

When it comes to the care and remembrance of your family, turn to a firm of longevity and committed track record; a firm that reflects the best the industry has to offer in professionalism, staff, facilities and reputation.             (continued next issue)

Issue 6.10

These days especially, we are more aware than ever of our veterans and the sacrifices they and their families have made and continue to make.  What you may not be aware of are the many wonderful duties these veterans continue to perform here in our local communities.

No doubt you’ve attended a funeral and observed the pride of the men in their uniforms as they performed military honors for a newly fallen veteran.  In 2009, the American Legion performed over 95 military honor services, in respect and gratitude for the sacrifices made by the veterans for our country.

Veterans are highly involved with the Boy Scouts, sponsoring opportunities for local boys, one of which is the Boys State trip to Logan, Utah.  Boys learn about various governmental processes there, and can earn college credits for it as well.

Our local veterans are also available to speak at schools, churches, and other organizations about the proper way to display your flag, how to fold it and the appropriate way to dispose of an old, faded or damaged flag.  They will participate in flag raising ceremonies, where they not only raise the flag, but play the colors, and fire a shot as the flag reaches the top of the pole.

A new website, dedicated solely to local veterans, has been created for and is sponsored by Spilsbury Mortuary.  We would like to introduce this website to you, which highlights the lives and stories of our local veterans, as well as their photos, videos and writings.  You will no doubt be acquainted with some of these vets, but might not be aware of their military involvements.  Please log onto www.ourlocalveterans.com and read the stories they have to tell in their own words.  You will be touched by the experiences they’ve endured.

You may know a veteran whose story belongs on our website.  If you wish to nominate someone for an interview, please contact Julie Brough, Spilsbury Mortuary, (435) 229-5594, or localveterans@gmail.com for further information.

Issue 50.09

This past week I have strongly felt the influence of the U.S. Armed Forces, our men and women that protect this great nation, and their sacrifices that bless our lives each and every day.  Not only are they heroes, serving to protect our daily freedoms, they are called upon constantly throughout the world to perform tasks that are seldom mentioned, that of acts of recovery.   For example, they retrieve our dead from the devastations of natural disaster and terrorism.  They step up, providing equipment, know-how, and manpower to preserve the sacred physical bodies of those whom we love at any and all costs.  Often such duty is mentally and physically overwhelming, such as the recovery of bodies that are in advanced stages of decomposition or that have been victims of drowning, explosion, fire, or other devastation.  We all realize that rescue efforts are being performed, but do we consider who follows through and makes sure that our loved ones make it home?  It is a combination of many, many great and wonderful folks.  It touches my heart, knowing the valiant efforts of those who help to bring closure and peace to grieving families.  Not only does our government and military assist in bringing our dead home, but they once again step up and help us lay them to rest.

For example, military honors, whether honoring those actively protecting us or those who have served this great nation in the past, the President of the United States makes sure that none are forgotten.  I have most recently witnessed our local American Legion, performing military honors in a complete cloudburst.  It made me proud to stand in their presence.  We, in Southern Utah, are blessed to have the finest military honors in this wonderful, blessed country – the United States of America (excepting perhaps the honors provided by full-time active duty trained soldiers at the Arlington National Cemetery in Virginia).  As “Taps” is played, the 21-gun-salute pierces the air, and the flag presented, I see the tears of gratitude.  They are the great and noble ones, providing a fitting final tribute on behalf of the President and a grateful nation.

How proud we are to be citizens of such a great nation, a nation that reveres their dead and pays proper honor and respect.  May I take this opportunity to say “thank you” to all of our service men and women for all they do, here and abroad.

Issue 49.09

Everyday, our eulogies are being written.  How do you want to be remembered?  As for me, I want to be remembered as one with a great sense of appreciation.  I would like to take this opportunity to express appreciation to many who have enhanced my life, the lives of my family, and my chosen profession.

I appreciate my parents, LeGrande and Bette Seegmiller Spilsbury.  I am today in the funeral profession because of my parents. 

As for the Mrs. Spilsbury of today, I want to express my love and appreciation to my wife, Vivian.  She, like my mother in years past, plays a major role in our family business.

I express appreciation to our fine staff.  The funeral directors, Tony Whitney and Michael Jones, they are each talented, pay attention to every detail, and are kind and compassionate caregivers.  I express appreciation to the lifeline of our whole operation, our officer manager, Aimee Sawyer, and program specialist, Julie Brough who both go the “extra mile,” organizing, creating, dotting the “i’s” and crossing the “t’s.”

Throughout Spilsbury Mortuary there are those in the shadows who keep our beautiful mortuary the “Crown Jewel” of funeral service.  I express appreciation for our gardeners, cleaning personnel, those who run death certificates and transport, all working in harmony.  I express appreciation to the Southern Utah Burial Vault Co., owned and operated by the Hafen boys and D. J. Gull.  They prepare the most beautiful grave sites and bring peace to that sacred place – the resting place of our loved ones.

To all the cemetery sextons throughout Southern Utah and surrounding areas, I express appreciation.  Rain or snow, they always serve faithfully, many going way beyond the call of their employ.

I express appreciation to those who perform military honors.  They are the great and noble ones.  We are blessed to have the finest military honors in this wonderful United States of America.  God bless those who perform military honors for our beloved servicemen.

And, in conclusion, a special appreciation to all clergy who everyday serve others.  Oh, how thankful we all are, especially in the final hour of life.  May their kindnesses be remembered and may they be blessed abundantly.

I hope that I will be remembered as one who has appreciated all people and all things along my path of life.