Columns « Senior Sampler

Genealogy Corner… 100 Most Popular Genealogy Websites

Issue 5.12

GenealogyInTime Magazine recently released their list of the 100 Most Popular Genealogy Websites. They are listed here in numerical order,followed by a description of the type of site,the area served and the word free for free sites or pay for sites that require payment. That is followed by the web address.

1- Ancestry.com ancestral records USA pay www.ancestry.com

2- MyHeritage genealogy forum USA free www.myheritage.com

3- FamilySearch ancestral records USA free www.familysearch.org

4- Find A Grave cemetery/obit records USA free www.findagrave.com

5- Geni.com genealogy forum USA free www.geni.com

6- Archives.com search engine USA pay www.archives.com

7- Genealogy.com genealogy forum USA pay www.genealogy.com

8- Ancestry.co.uk ancestral records UK pay www.ancestry.co.uk

9- GeneaNet genealogy forum France free www.geneanet.org

10- MyFamily genealogy forum USA pay www.myfamily.com

11- FamilyLink search engine USA pay www.familylink.com

12- Newspaper Archive historic newspapers USA pay www.newspaperarchive.com

13- FindMyPast UK ancestral records UK pay www.findmypast.co.uk

14- Ancestry.ca ancestral records Canada pay www.ancestry.ca

15- 23andMe family DNA testing USA pay www.23andme.com

16- Genes Reunited ancestral records UK pay www.genesreunited.co.uk

17- Fold3 ancestral records USA pay www.fold3.com

18- Ancestry.com.au ancestral records Australia pay www.ancestry.com.au

19- Eastman’s Genealogy Newsletter genealogy blog USA free www.blog.eogn.com

20- GenealogyInTime Magazine genealogy magazine Canada free www.genealogyintime.com

21- Genealogy Bank historic newspapers USA pay www.genealogybank.com

22- Family Tree DNA family DNA testing USA pay www.familytreedna.com

23- USGenweb Archives ancestral records USA free www.usgwarchives.net

24- EllisIsland.org ancestral records USA free www.ellisisland.org

25- Sysoon cemetery/obit records France free www.sysoon.com

26- Arkivverket Digitalarkivet ancestral records Norway free www.arkivverket.no

27- JewishGen ethnic genealogy USA free www.jewishgen.org

28- World Vital Records ancestral records USA pay www.worldvitalrecords.com

29- Tribal Pages genealogy forum USA pay www.tribalpages.com

30- Cyndi’s List genealogy links USA free www.cyndislist.com

31- Ancestry.de ancestral records Germany pay www.ancestry.de

32- Ancient Faces genealogy forum USA free www.ancientfaces.com

33- WikiTree genealogy forum USA free www.wikitree.com

34- Roots Chat genealogy forum UK free www.rootschat.com

35- Free BMD ancestral records UK free www.freebmd.org.uk

36- Family Tree Magazine genealogy magazine USA pay www.familytreemagazine.com

37- Jiapu genealogy forum China free www.jiapu.com

38- thePeerage ancestral records UK free www.thepeerage.com

39- Internment cemetery/obit records USA free www.interment.net

40- Genealogy Today genealogy magazine USA pay www.genealogytoday.com

41- ObituariesHelp.org genealogy links USA free www.obituarieshelp.org

42- Ahnenforschung.net genealogy forum Germany free www.ahnenforschung.net

43- British Newspaper Archive historic newspapers UK pay www.britishnewspaperarchive.co.uk

44- Access Genealogy search engine USA free www.accessgenealogy.com

45- Mocavo search engine USA free www.mocavo.com

46- Mundia genealogy forum USA pay www.mundia.com

47- Steve Morse search engine USA free www.stevemorse.org

48- Ancestor Hunt genealogy links USA free www.ancestorhunt.com

49- British History Online ancestral records UK free www.british-history.ac.uk

50- Legacy Family Tree genealogy software USA pay www.legacyfamilytree.com

51- MyCanvas genealogy services USA pay www.mycanvas.com

52- Genuki ancestral records UK free www.genuki.org.uk

53- Family Tree Maker genealogy software USA pay www.familytreemaker.com

54- Genealogy Trails ancestral records USA free www.genealogytrails.com

55- Ancestor Search genealogy links USA free www.searchforancestors.com

56- Heritage Quest Online ancestral records USA pay www.heritagequestonline.com

57- Anglo-Celtic Connections genealogy blog Canada free www.anglo-celtic-connections.blogspot.com

58- MyTrees genealogy forum USA pay www.mytrees.com

59- One Great Family genealogy forum USA pay www.onegreatfamily.com

60- Daughters American Revolution genealogy society USA pay www.dar.org

61- Fulton History historic newspapers USA free www.fultonhistory.com

62- Death Indexes genealogy links USA free www.deathindexes.com

63- Census Finder genealogy links USA free www.censusfinder.com

64- Roots Ireland ancestral records Ireland pay www.rootsireland.ie

65- VitalRec genealogy links USA free www.vitalrec.com

66- GenoPro genealogy software USA pay www.genopro.com

67- RootsMagic genealogy software USA pay www.rootsmagic.com

68- Genealogy Buff genealogy links USA free www.genealogybuff.com

69- USGenNet ancestral records USA free www.usgennet.org

70- American Ancestors genealogy society USA pay www.americanancestors.org

71- Genebase family DNA testing USA pay www.genebase.com

72- Irish Genealogy ancestral records Ireland free www.irishgenealogy.ie

73- Ancestry24 genealogy forum South Africa pay www.ancestry24.com

74- ProGenealogists genealogy services USA pay www.progenealogists.com

75- ScotslandsPeople ancestral records Scotland pay www.scotlandspeople.gov.uk

76- Genlias ancestral records Netherlands free www.genlias.nl

77- Ancestry.se ancestral records Sweden pay www.ancestry.se

78- Distant Cousin search engine USA free www.distantcousin.com

79- Ireland Genealogy Project ancestral records Ireland free www.igp-web.com

80- eXpert Genealogy genealogy services USA pay www.expertgenealogy.com

81- Genealogy Blog genealogy blog USA free www.genealogyblog.com

82- Linkpendium genealogy links USA free www.linkpendium.com

83- Geneabloggers genealogy blog USA free www.geneabloggers.com

84- Commonwealth War Graves ancestral records UK free www.cwgc.org

85- We Relate genealogy forum USA free www.werelate.org

86- Centraal Bureau voor Genealogie ancestral records Netherlands free www.cbg.nl

87- British Genes genealogy blog UK free www.britishgenes.blogspot.com

88- The Genealogist ancestral records UK pay www.thegenealogist.co.uk

89- Genealogical.com genealogy services USA pay www.genealogical.com

90- Genea-Musings genealogy blog USA free www.geneamusings.com

91- FindMyPast Ireland ancestral records Ireland pay www.findmypast.ie

92- British-Genealogy genealogy forum UK free www.british-genealogy.com

93- Origins.net ancestral records UK pay www.origins.net

94- GenealogyWise genealogy forum USA free www.genealogywise.com

95- Genealogical Society of Finland genealogy society Finland free www.genealogia.fi

96- N2 Genealogy genealogy links USA free www.n2genealogy.com

97- Locate Grave cemetery/obit records USA free www.locategrave.org

98- Automated Genealogy ancestral records Canada free www.automatedgenealogy.com

99- USGenWeb Project ancestral records USA free www.usgenweb.org

100- Immigrant Ship Transcribers Guild ship records USA free www.immigrantships.net

For more information,contact Shanna Jones shannasjones@msn.com (435) 628-4900.

Geek Speak… Cell Phone Wars Part 2

Issue 5.12

This week we will be talking about the different types and brands of cell phones. There are a large number of companies competing for your business which has led to a number of innovations and lower prices.

The highest priced is the Apple IPhone. The new 4s version has a lot of very cool capabilities and all versions are smart phones,which means they have internet access including downloading and playing of music,games,productivity software,movies,live and recorded television shows,sports,etc. The different versions sell for $650 -850 but you can get them as low as $199 if you commit to a two year contract with most cellular companies. The less powerful versions are available for as low as 97 cents (3g version) with a contract.

A note about 3g and 4g.

The new 4g network offered by most cellular companies in some areas is much faster than the 3g,but you have to have a 4g enabled phone to take advantage of it. It gives you faster downloads and better quality which makes watching live streamed movies or T.V. shows more enjoyable. Before buying one however,make sure that 4g is available on your carrier in your area. I personally picked a 3g phone because of the savings and because I typically don’t watch live content on my phone.

The other type of “smart”phone on the market is the “droid”or android operating system phones that have arrived over the last year or so. They have quickly picked up a large share of the market and have almost as many apps (applications) and programs as the Apple phones. My son opted for one of these and likes it much better than the IPhone.

In addition to smart phones,most companies offer phones and service plans that are just phone service –and it costs significantly less per month. The phones are usually free with a two year commitment or very low price if they are feature rich. Many of these phones do have limited apps built in such as alarm clocks,mp3 players and games.

Data plans (required with most smart phone contracts) are between $15 and $50 per month in addition to your phone contract and usually have a limit on how much content you can access. One exception to this is Sprint which offers unlimited data for about $80 per month per line and includes normal cell phone use. Another company that has a feature that is unique at this time is AT&T,which allows you to talk on the IPhone and access apps (such as internet or business software) at the same time. Currently,they are the only ones doing that which makes it the main reason I choose that option.

In all your considerations,be sure you understand the commitments you are making and check out how customer friendly the company you are looking at is perceived to be. And remember,always back up anything important to you.

Shaun McCausland has worked in the computer industry for over 30 years,20 years of it locally with Bits ‘N’Bytes and Musicomp and currently does in-home and on-site computer consultation,service,training and repair. If you have questions you can reach him at 435-668-7118 or through his website at www.bitsnbytescomputers.com.

Learning Made Simple

Issue 5.12

Many People hear about things through advertising in Newspaper or Television ads or even on occasional radio spots. This type of advertising is great to spark your interest,but what can you do now your attention is peaked?

Free education seminars have been the most successful format of communication and education for topics involving the Senior Consumer. Many people of this generation tend to feel pressured by salesmen in a one on one format and also have slight trust issues as well based on the history of predators trying to take advantage of a non-suspecting person looking for guidance.

The seminars provided by myself are based on the premise of an open forum. A group of interested people looking for answers to similar questions provides a more secure environment and also offers opportunity to gain knowledge in areas you may not have thought about but another person brought it to the fore front. Questions from the audience are not only expected but more or less required as the topics sometimes lack electric and spontaneous energy. Although I may be a comedian and an extraordinary speaker (self proclaimed) questions allow the exact information desired by the audience to be extracted from the meeting.

HECM or Home Equity Conversion Mortgage has been the primary subject for my Seminars for the past 4 years. This has taken on the name “Reverse Mortgage”. This particular type of loan is growing in popularity and for good reason. With all of the improvements and modifications to it over the past 5 years,HECM has become a viable option to financial dilemmas for many seniors. Not only does it offer opportunity to people with financial problems but it is also a great tool for those in a stable place financially. With the introduction of the Reverse Purchase in 2009,now buying a new home with no payments for life is available.

If you have questions of any kind pertaining to the HECM please watch for my Seminars in the near future or call me anytime at 435-767-1092. They are educational and there is absolutely no sales tactics performed at them. They are simply informative and FREE. I will look forward to seeing you soon to see how your life could change for the better. Look for ads in the Senior Sampler from Scott Gibson,Axiom Financial Reverse Specialist.

Looking Back… Act Or React?

Issue 5.12

For several years now,my New Year’s resolution has been act don’t react. Just that one statement covers a myriad of situations from personal management to family relationships to dreams and aspirations. In the area of personal management,I want to gain control of my weight,fitness and general health. Therefore,I need a plan to act upon rather than just continuing on in my familiar routines reacting to what comes my way. i.e. You need accountability techniques (a checklist or daily journal or a fitness buddy) to motivate and guide your daily behavior rather than just doing what come naturally.

After living with yourself for as many years as most senior citizens have,you think we’d have mastered care of our body during our declining years. But most of us just react to new ailments rather than focus on prevention and good health practices. We know better,but it takes less energy to procrastinate changing. It is easier to react rather than act,learning to live with the guilt instead of tackling the challenge of self-improvement. Listening to negative voices inside that discourage our efforts to become better seems easier than pursuing some plan of action.

The payoff for reacting is more guilt and less growth. Try acting for a change in some area of your life,and you’ll discover new strengths and energy for realizing some of the potential you have for happiness and self-development. Untapped creativity and interests can lead to greater fulfillment in all areas of your life. Want better family relationships? Make that a goal to act upon;don’t just sit around wishing they would improve. I remembering from my physics classes of long ago F=MA or force equals mass times acceleration. Movement in any direction is controlled by what/who you are trying to move and the momentum involved. If you are sitting around waiting for life to get better,it probably won’t. While if you are actively focused on change and improvement,it can happen.

What are your dreams and aspirations for the rest of your life,whatever your current age is? Finding myself now in my 7^th decade of residing here on this planet,I plan to take charge of my life. Act not react in the time I have left,find my unique voice and use it.

NEXT TIME:Do You Have a Voice? Check out Lin’s book Find Your Voice:Write Your Life Story,only $10. Learn how to preserve your legacy for your family. Details on http://lettersfromlin.blogspot.com or call 628-8522.

Personal Stories Of WWII… Tactics And Strategy

Issue 5.12

While In training at Ariel gunnery school we learned the latest tactics about how to defend a bomber from attack from enemy fighters. We were taught that the fighters would most likely attack from nine o’clock or three o’clock because the fighter would have guns bearing for a longer period of time. This maneuver took a highly trained fighter pilot because he had to aim ahead of the bomber at a constantly changing angle. This also afforded him with a larger area broadside target. This tactic also took much practice for a waist gunner to be competent because he had to lead the attacking fighter from the tail rather than from the nose as would be supposed The gunner used a ring (with three concentric rings) and post sight,which also had to have the angle of lead constantly changing. The ball turret and the top tmret both used a mechanical computing gun sight,which was worked by hand grips and foot pedals. These gun sights figured how much to lead an attacking fighter and pointed the machine guns to the proper place.

With any machine gun,care has to be used because an unwise gunner could melt the barrels down and then the projectiles came out the side of the barrel instead out of the end. The rule was short bursts.

When we got overseas,we found that tactics were changing Germany still bad a good supply of airplanes but the highly trained pilots were in short supply. When I was flying over Germany,They found that they could get better results with less intensely trained pilots by attacking a group of 36 bombers at either 12 o’clock or 6 o’clock in concentrations of dozens or waves of dozens. This tactic didn’t require any leading and so less skill. By concentrating on one bomber group at a time,they could and have actually shot down all 36 of the bombers during one of this type of attack. This tactic was called “Storm Gruppen”by the Germans. This tactic was very effective but the Germans employed it too late in the war.

I read a book written by Adolf Gorman,a top German fighter pilot about this tactic. He tried to get this tactic rated as standard procedure by the Luftwaffe but Herman Goering turned down his request. He wrote in his book that if Germany had used this “Storm Gruppen”tactic earlier in the war,the 8^th Air Force would never have been successful with daylight bombing. That could have lengthened the war by years.

The 8th Air Force started operations late in 1942. The first missions were by very few bombers and the targets were close to the channel as in France and Western Germany to such targets as railroad marshaling yards and then industrial targets such as tank,war equipment,and airplane factories. When marshaling yards were bombed,they were back in full operation within a day or two. When airplane and other factories were bombed they were dispersed or put underground The allies thought they had a choke if they knocked out the ball bearing factories. The ball bearing factories were concentrated at Sweinfurt. The 8thAir Force pretty well knocked out the ball bearing .factories but within a short time the Germans were back in business. They made ball bearings in neighborhood shops and imported them from Switzerland and Sweden.

The next phase was to bomb oil refineries,which were big,spread out and difficult to replace. While I was flying my missions a good share of our targets were oil refineries and synthetic oil refineries. The Germans didn’t have enough crude oil so they mined coal and had factories that converted coal to petroleum products. At the end of the war,the Germans had thousands of first rate fighter airplanes and tiger tanks that had never been used but there was one thing they could not do without. Tiger tanks at the Battle of the Bulge broke down because they had unrefined oil in their crankcases. Fighter planes didn’t fly because they didn’t have fuel enough to train new pilots. German pilots were in such short supply that we as gunners and our own fighter pilots had orders that in case a German pilot bailed out we were to shoot him and not let him get to the ground alive.

This order was of no consequence to us bomber gunners because we had no chance to follow one down but it made a difference to a P-51 pilot I doubt that any American would ever shoot a man in a chute out of the sky. I’m sure the Germans had the same orders that we had. But I’m not so sure about the Germans.

The Social Security Column… A Valentine Tip From Social Security

Issue 5.12

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner,making this a popular time of year for proclamations of love. Such displays of affection can be as simple and sweet as a heart with a “be mine” message,or as life altering as a vow before the altar.

If you happen to be a newlywed who is head over heels in love,you may not be focused on things such as taxes or Social Security,but you should be. If you plan to exchange your maiden name for a married name — including hyphenated names such as Smith-Jones — be sure you let us know.

Telling us about your name change shortly after your marriage will help us accurately keep track of your earnings and will ensure that you and your family get the Social Security retirement,disability,and survivors coverage you’re entitled to. Also,if the Internal Revenue Service and Social Security records do not show the same name and Social Security number,your Federal income tax refund could be delayed.

If you continue to use your maiden name consistently throughout your working years,you do not need to contact us. However,if you decide to change your name at a later time,you should let us know so that we can update your Social Security record and send you a Social Security card with your new name.

There’s no need to pay someone else to mail in the information for you. Changing your name with Social Security is a quick,easy,and free service. Just go online to www.socialsecurity.gov/ssnumber,learn what documents you need,and click on “Fill Out and Print an application (Form SS-5).” You also can call us at 1-800-772-1213 to obtain the form. We will need the completed application along with a marriage certificate or divorce decree verifying your old and new names. If you were born outside the United States,you also need proof of your U.S. citizenship or proof that you are lawfully living in the U.S. You can bring or mail these documents to us.

You may be focused on the one you love,and we don’t blame you. But if you like us (we hope you do) please click on the Facebook icon at our homepage and “like” us on Facebook. Also,you can follow us on Twitter too. Look for our Facebook and Twitter icons at www.socialsecurity.gov. We share information daily that can help you and all your Valentines.

Happy Valentine’s Day from Social Security.

Dry Mouth… Improve Your Dental Hygiene

Issue 4.12

With advancing years,health concerns seem to creep up on most people. Most medications including those for things like high blood pressure,diabetes,depression,etc. often cause a reduction in saliva production. Chemotherapy treatment for cancer also can reduce saliva. The result is that the mouth becomes very dry. Saliva (spit) is very important for a number of reasons;from swallowing and digestion,to immune system interaction. A critical roll saliva plays is the neutralizing of the acids produced by bacterial plaque on our teeth. With lessened saliva,a person can become highly susceptible to dental decay. You mix things like loss of dexterity to brush teeth well,poor diet,medications producing dry mouth and possibly dementia and you have a wild fire of decay. Even worse,people will often resort to a constant diet of mouth lozenges containing sugar to help stimulate saliva formation and that’s like throwing gas on a fire when it comes to dental decay. A sad social comment is that our seniors in rest homes and care facilities,who can’t take care of themselves for their personal hygiene needs,suffer terribly from rampant decay around all their teeth,crowns,and fillings. People who have had wonderful dental care all their lives suddenly can be faced with decay around all their crowns and fillings and are the least prepared to financially repair the damage now that they are retired and perhaps no longer have dental insurance. You can’t stop taking your medications or stop having another birthday,so what should you do? Here are a few suggestions: Improve your dental hygiene efforts to the maximum. Use fluoridated toothpastes and mouth washes. Instead of waiting six months or a year for a dental check up and cleaning,schedule a cleaning every three months. Avoid a lot of sugars in your diet. Brush immediately after eating and don’t wait to do it just before bed. If you have a relative in a care facility,visits them and brush their teeth for them.

Phillip Hall is a practicing general dentist in St. George. He is also head of the St. George Craniofacial Treatment Center,and operates St. George Dental Careers,a successful dental assisting school. Board Certified Diplomate of the American Academy of Dental Sleep Medicine. Appointments for general dentistry or dentures call 656-1111. For sleep apnea appliances or TMJ problems call 634-8338.

Geek Speak… Cell Phone Wars Part 1

Issue 4.12

Many people today are changing the way they use telephones. It is almost a rare thing to find people who have only a land-line telephone and many have opted to completely get rid of their Mountain Bell,Qwest,Century Link phones and accounts. They are choosing cellular phones and/or some type of computer network based phone service. These changes have led to massive innovation and an almost overwhelming number of choices for the consumer.

We will visit about the networked home phone options another time. Suffice it to say (for now) that VOIP (Voice Over Internet Provider) phone systems have become very reliable and inexpensive,and even the lower quality network phone systems (such as Magic Jack) are improving and becoming a better option than they used to be.

In the cell phone arena,there are two main approaches to getting your business. The first is the pay-as-you-go approach. With these companies,you purchase a phone and then pay in advance for the minutes you are going to use. Companies such as Straight Talk,Virgin,Net 10,Cricket and others provide you with cellular service for prices from 5-20 cents per minute or a certain amount for each day you use the phone. These are especially nice for people who don’t use a cell phone often but want to have it when they travel away from home. Some of these options are also now allowing data (such as internet browsing) for an additional cost if you buy a smart phone.

Smart phones are cell phones with internet ready computers built in. They can browse the internet,download music,books,videos,games and other content. They are usually higher in cost than normal cell phones and are more expensive to repair or replace if damaged or worn out.

The other approach is contracting with a carrier. With this you commit to paying every month for service for a period of time (usually two years). In exchange you get a phone,either free or at a drastically reduced price,that you can use to access the service. The number of companies has dropped in recent years. There are now four major nationwide companies and a number of small localized companies. The four majors are AT&T,Sprint,T-Mobile and Verizon.

Before signing up,be sure you understand your commitment to them,all charges you will pay (including significant taxes) each month and what you will pay if you end the service before the contract is completed. I think it is also a good idea to talk with friends who have had experience with the company you are considering. Some of them are much more customer friendly than others.

Next time we will talk about the different types of phones and data plans. And remember,always back up anything important to you.

Genealogy Corner… Prime Time Genealogy

Issue 4.12

This year NBC and PBS will continue bringing their genealogy shows to American prime time television. They are exciting shows showing each person’s journey through their individual family histories. You can learn a lot of research techniques just by watching television.

Premiering on Friday,February 3 (7-8:00 p.m. Mountain) is the third season of NBC’s Who Do You Think You Are?,based on the award-winning hit British television documentary series of the same name. This year’s show is promising to take us from “Ireland’s freedom fighters to the American Revolutionary War,and from the African nation of Cameroon to Bulgaria,” this season includes the biggest celebrity lineup to date:Martin Sheen (The West Wing),Marisa Tomei (Anger Management),Blair Underwood (L.A. Law),Reba McEntire (Country Music Star),Rob Lowe (The West Wing &Parks and Recreation),Helen Hunt (Academy Award for Best Actress As Good as It Gets),Rita Wilson (Sleepless in Seattle,Runaway Bride,etc.),Edie Falco (The Sopranos),Rashida Jones (Parks and Recreation),Jerome Bettis Retired NFL halfback),Jason Sudeikis Saturday Night Live and Horrible Bosses) and Paula Deen (Emmy Award-winning television personality.

PBS and Harvard scholar Henry Louis Gates,Jr. are back with another genealogy show as well. Finding Your Rooms with Henry Louis Gates,Jr. will premiere on Sunday,March 25 with a 10-part series promising to delve into the genealogy and genetics of famous Americans. The named celebrities include Kevin Bacon (Footloose,X-Men),Robert Downey,Jr. (Sherlock Holmes:A Game of Shadows),Branford Marsalis (saxophonist,composer and bandleader),John Legend (Singer-songwriter and actor),Martha Stewart (business magnate,author,magazine publisher and television personality),Barbara Walters (broadcast journalist) and Rick Warren (evangelical Christian minister and author).

You can also watch the PBS family history and genealogy television series,Ancestors. The Ancestors Instructional Media Project was developed by BYU Broadcasting in cooperation with Wisteria Pictures. Information on the series is available at http://www.byub.org/ancestors/.

For further information,contact Shanna S. Jones at (435) 628-4900 or shannasjones@msn.com

Looking Back… Forgiveness And Anger

Issue 4.12

Since kindness and unconditional acceptance don’t seem to come naturally to most individuals,there is always a need to learn to control your reactions and practice forgiveness. Somehow as we grow older and gain wisdom,we think that others would like to know what we have learned;but that’s not true. It seems everyone must learn by his or her actions. It’s always better to keep your remarks to yourself,unless asked for advice. Listening is the best procedure,but perhaps the most difficult. Learning to ask thoughtful questions can lead to informative discussions.

Being forgiven or forgiving someone who has offended you is not always simple. I‘ve seen how easy it is to offend younger family members with unsolicited advice about child raising or a harmless suggestion on how to improve communication in the family. What can you do if you have offended or been hurt by others? Talking it out certainly is important,but not always the easiest thing to do in our modern society. Letters,phone calls and emails can’t substitute for face-to-face talks. Seeing one another’s body language as you attempt to communicate can show you how they are reacting to what others are saying. With the vast distances that most families live apart these days,that’s not always possible though preferable.

Sending unconditional acceptance and love to every person is so important. Anger held onto isn’t healthy for anyone and can lead to depression. Being angry with someone else hurts you more than it does the other person. If you are one who has offended others,try saying, “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings that wasn’t my intent. Hopefully,they’ll accept your apology,if not…never give up on a relationship especially with family members. When someone is angry,it’s because they feel hurt or harmed in some way by your actions.

I realized just recently that a son of mine who is now middle-aged is still trying to find his “personal space” and be independent from his mom (me.) That realization affects how I communicate with him. Respecting his life and desire to interact less frequently,doesn’t have to be taken personally by me. If I let him know I’m always here if he wants to talk,and that I love him has to do for now. Time and patience will heal all wounds and bring more understanding. Anger is a reaction;forgiveness is an action.

NEXT TIME:Act or React. Don’t miss out on Write Your Life Story-a workshop at Zion’s Way Healing Arts Center,Thurs. Feb 2^nd from 1-2:30 pm taught by Lin Floyd. Cost $10,register 435 688-0648.

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Genealogy Corner… 100 Most Popular Genealogy Websites

Geek Speak… Cell Phone Wars Part 2

Learning Made Simple

Looking Back… Act Or React?

Personal Stories Of WWII… Tactics And Strategy

The Social Security Column… A Valentine Tip From Social Security

Dry Mouth… Improve Your Dental Hygiene

Geek Speak… Cell Phone Wars Part 1

Genealogy Corner… Prime Time Genealogy

Looking Back… Forgiveness And Anger