Issue 25.16
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” Mark Twain
June is the month we celebrate and honor Father’s. I’ve decided to take the opportunity to share a little bit about my thoughts on fathers.
Besides the fact that this month is Father’s Day, I just recently had the privilege of handling the final arrangements for my step father who passed away just one week after his 99th birthday.
As a funeral director, I had the unique opportunity to prepare his remains for his final resting place and to plan and participate in his funeral service. This was a wonderful opportunity for me to reflect on all the things that my stepfather had done for me and to appreciate the efforts of all fathers.
As a side note the funeral happened to be on my actual father’s birthday. I never knew my father as he was killed in a construction accident two months prior to my birth. I have always felt a kinship and relationship with my father even never meeting him.
My mother married my stepfather when I was at the age of 5. I knew he wasn’t my father but I was anxious to have a father figure.
Through the funeral process I was able to think of all those fatherly things that he did for me. I was also able to learn many things that I did not know from others who shared thoughts and condolences before, during and after the services. What a wonderful tribute and healing process it was.
Two things that stuck out to me during this process that I would like to share;
First, my stepfather was 59 years old when he married my mother who had 10 children. He had already raised 6 of his own children.
Think of all the things he accomplished and experienced as a father figure even as a “senior citizen”. Let that be a reminder to us all that much can be accomplished even in our “advanced” age. While many chose to enjoy the well deserved comfort of their senior lives, some find themselves with the ability and opportunity to keep giving. And maybe, just maybe there’s another secret to longevity!
Second the role of fathers and fatherhood take on many different shapes and sizes.
While I never had the traditional father role in my life, I am grateful for the father’s I did have; not only my father and stepfather but the many other people who took on a fatherly role in my younger years. The impact these men had on my life is tremendous and helped to shape who I am.
Regardless of the father you are the father role you fill or the father figure you have, make it the best you can and appreciate the good in it.
Know the impact you have on the future is and will be profound.
Happy Father’s Day from Hughes Mortuary.
Jimmie Hughes can be contacted at 435-674-5000.