Issue 6.10

During my years of growing up, I would find that my career choices would evolve as new interests developed.  As a young child, I wanted to be a movie star or a telephone operator, but in high school that all changed.  I loved math and science classes and excelled in my studies, so it was only natural when the call came for more American engineers after the Russian spudnik satellite developments that started the space race and cold war, that I would consider going to college to study engineering.  I don’t think I even knew what an engineer was, but my high school teachers encouraged me to become one.

Unfortunately, my junior college teachers in 1958 weren’t as supportive as my high school instructors had been.  I still remember a Physics 101 professor, on the first day of my college class, writing on the blackboards around the room the simple equation E=MC².  Then he proceeded to say: “Even the girls in this class can understand this simple equation.”  Whether he was trying to be funny or not I never determined, but it made the three girls in my class of 35 physics students feel uneasy.  Today it would be called sexual harassment.  As I pursued my new engineering major, I found that college classes in math and science were much more competitive than in high school.  I was discouraged to only earn a B or C grade after earning almost straight A’s in high school.  After one semester in college, I was ready to look for a different career.

Taking ballet lessons had been a hobby I started in high school and loved.  During junior college, I performed in many musical productions as well as in community theatre.  Then came the opportunity to dance professionally and join a dancer’s union as a member of the Los Angeles City Ballet Company.  Wow, this was almost like being a movie star, a career choice of mine earlier.  The only problem was the entertainment world had different morals that I had.  Being a very naïve young girl when I left high school, and feeling uncomfortable with theatre people, I left my ballet company.  Determined to continue my college studies as a dance major at BYU, and become a professional dance teacher, I thought maybe I’d get married along the way.

Lin Floyd lin@sunrivertoday.com is the author of LOOKING BACK…at the “Good Old Days,” a collection of her weekly articles about growing up in the old West.

Issue 5.10

After a year of so of ballet lessons came the opportunity to perform in high school plays and musicals.  My world of dance expanded from ballet to musical comedy theatre as I danced in “Our Town,” and other long forgotten musicals.  Then came the high school talent show.  I prepared a toe dance to classical music and won despite great classmate competitors who sang popular rock‘n roll songs of the day, played the piano or performed magic acts.  The student body wasn’t too happy with a toe dancer winning first place and the coveted prize of a portable black and white TV set over the other more popular contestants, but the adult judges liked ballet dancing.

I was hooked.  I loved dancing.  Who needed boy friends or dating when you could have so much fun dancing?  At this time, I discovered the world of professional ballet dancing and became a member of the Los Angeles City Ballet.  So many opportunities had been opened to me that wouldn’t have been possible if I had stayed in my hometown of Eureka, Utah with a population under 5,000 and no ballet teachers.

The only problem was, ballet is not social dancing and it didn’t help me overcome my shyness with the boys.  Being taller than most of the guys in high school also didn’t help.  Add to those problems, the addition of glasses for near sightedness, and I began to feel like an “old maid” at sweet sixteen.  Invited to one high school party-a dance party, I discovered I had no social dance skills.  The popular music of the day included Elvis and the twist.  Well, my mom decided to help me out by teaching me some popular dances from her youth.  Unfortunately, the Charleston and the waltz weren’t well known at the one and only party I attended in high school.

Somehow I survived high school by focusing on dancing and my studies.  Self conscious and skinny at 5’9” and 110 pounds, I couldn’t be seen if I turned sideways, but I did excel in my math and science classes.  I took an accelerated English and college prep seminar class that pointed me towards college.  I would start a new tradition in my family of attending college.  After high school graduation, I received free tuition at one of California’s great junior colleges and was to have my first dating experience. Contact lin@sunrivertoday.com to purchase a bound copy of Looking Back columns for the past two years.

Issue 4.10

My mom as a young girl living in a small Utah rural community had always longed for a piano to play.  She knew this would never happen because her mom was a widow struggling to find work to support her family of five dependent children.  So Mom did the next best thing, she drew piano keys on a cardboard box and pretended to play.  Later when she married and I came along, Mom bought a piano.  Although I had no interest in learning to play, she arranged lessons for me.  After years of trying to convince her that I’d never fulfill her dream of being a pianist, she let me stop taking lessons.  It was my tears at my first planned piano recital that finally convinced her.  The move to California helped as we left our piano behind with grandma in Utah, and it brought other opportunities for me.

My first introduction to dancing was confined to learning to do pliés at my new girl friend Mary Anne’s house.  Holding onto her mother’s ironing board, my friend who had taken ballet lessons for several years was my teacher.  Her dad taught piano but I couldn’t get enough dance instruction after I finally convinced my mom that dancing lessons would make me happier than all the piano lessons in the world.

My greatest desire was to join my friend in her classes and perform in the famous ballet Swan Lake.  I wanted to be in the Dance of the Little Swans.  It’s a very intricate toe dance executed in unison by a group of four advanced ballet dancers, all unfortunately quite short.  I was always tall for my age.  You can imagine my disappointment, when after a few months of ballet lessons, our recital came along and I danced in a beginner’s ballet called the Seasons.  I was the center dancer representing the sun because of my height.  Within a year though, I was able to dance with my friend Mary Anne in the ballet Coppelia, and later in Cinderella.

During the summers, we attended the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles to see Swan Lake as performed by the professional New York City Ballet.  Their starring ballerina in those days was named Maria Tallchief, but she was not as tall as me.  Ballet seemed like a dream world of handsome men and beautiful ballerinas dancing out my favorite fairy tales.  Contact lin@sunrivertoday.com to purchase a bound copy of Looking Back columns for the past two years.

Issue 3.10

In the good old days after their courtship and marriage celebration, it was time for the newlyweds to have a chivaree, or a noisy party by their friends who would gather and try to kidnap one or both partners for a while before their first wedding night.  The crowd would come beating on pans and making lots of noise to serenade the couple.  After their friends were placated with refreshments and more celebrating, it was time for the newlyweds to be left alone.

Few could afford a fancy honeymoon.  Most new couples started married life very modestly.  They might move into the bride’s own bedroom in her parents’ home until they could get some money saved to buy their own place.  My parents got married secretly and after the ceremony returned home separately to their parents’ residences without telling anyone.  When finally the cat was let out of the bag when my mom’s younger sister found a simple wedding band hidden in the china closet, it was time to formally declare their marriage and establish a common residence.  My mom moved in with her in laws as they had room, and my dad got employment on the railroad.  Eventually, she was able to live with my dad in his bachelor quarters by the tracks and share a small bed with her new husband.  They were as happy as it they had a new split level home with all new appliances, but they had little-no electricity or running water in their temporary quarters provided by the railroad for its workers.

My dad was promoted from work crew to dispatcher and they were able to get a small––think one-room apartment with sparse furniture.  Little by little with their family’s help they acquired more-a table and chairs, an old sofa and a chest of drawers.  Their first big purchase as newlyweds was a gasoline washing machine, and later a car.  Such humble beginnings to start a marriage would be frowned upon today but they were happy in their home sweet home together.  

Other earlier ancestors of mine started out their married life in a dugout or log cabin.  My husband’s great grandparents lived in a tent in Oklahoma during the oil boom days before they were able to homestead some land and construct a small one room lean-to that was home.  The important thing for the couple was their love and being together.  

Contact lin@sunrivertoday.com to purchase a bound copy of Looking Back columns for the past two years.

Issue 2.10

What’s happened to the old fashioned values such as: modesty, fidelity, and honesty?  In our modern times they don’t seem to exist or even be considered especially as portrayed in films or TV shows.  The young couple meets, falls in lust (not love), and heads to the bedroom.  What’s happened to dating, courting, and getting to know each other before letting the hormones move us into the stage of a relationship which used to come only after marriage?  Nowadays I’ve heard a young woman say…well, we’re just going to move in together and see what develops.  Where is the process of making the commitment to one another of marriage first, then moving in together to establish your own family with perhaps some children added in time?  Was that just for old fashioned times and people?

Clothing styles are another area that could use some improvement for some, especially for women but also some young men.  Many gals let it all hang out and the guys have a hard time keeping their shorts and jeans up with no belts.  Then there is the bra-less look. I remember when that first came about during the 1960s.  Many anti-war protestors including young men had burned their draft cards while the young women burned their bras in support of personal freedom.  I was in my 20s during that time period and found myself wanting to go along with the current styles that included mini-skirts but I never felt comfortable dressed that way or that it was really me.  Being a naturally shy modest person, and maybe a little old fashioned was a better fit for me.

In today’s society, honesty is lacking both on a family and corporate level.  It’s not unusual to know someone in your own family that has cheated on a spouse in the name of freedom and self expression.  I remember growing up thinking that everyone was honest but I quickly found out differently as I interacted in our society.  We should be able to trust others-our spouse, our banker, our teachers with our kids.  Then there are those who use bullying and child/spouse abuse to get their way.  So how do we teach our old fashioned values to our families and encourage them to practice the tried and true ethics?  Only by being an example of the good principles, we learned as a child, will change happen.

Contact lin@sunrivertoday.com to purchase a bound copy of Looking Back columns for the past two years.

Issue 52.09

Can you think of one smell that signifies your memories of the past?  To me it is sagebrush-a pungent sweet distinct smell that always recalls UTAH and my childhood.  Moving to California as I did when 10 years old, I always looked forward to our trips home across the Nevada desert.  With my first smell of sage, I knew home was near and my loving grandparents.  We came to visit almost every deer season and I loved being in the outdoors as my family prepared to go hunting in the lovely fall weather or collecting pine cones from pinyon trees among the sagebrush.  Even today when I return from vacations, I get a thrill when I smell sagebrush as it starts to appear along the sides of the road, for my destination––my home is close.

Other distinct smells of the past were grandmother’s fresh homemade bread, rolls or pies hot out of the oven.  Just walking inside her house, I could smell her love in the aroma that greeted us.  It didn’t take long for grandma to serve her finest roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy––a traditional meal for family reunions or for any special occasion.  When I make dressing for turkey that same distinct sage smell fills me with longing for the good old holidays.

Lilacs are another smell that reminds me of the past.  It is a popular flowering bush that both of my grandparents had growing in their yards.  They are so pretty and so fragrant.  Then there was the cheap perfume from the dime store that my grandma always wore, and grandpa’s Old Spice aftershave.  Either of these smells nowadays takes me instantly back to earlier times.

Smells of Christmas are comforting.  Our family tradition was always to have our own fresh cut Christmas tree to decorate.  Hunting in the mountains of Utah for the perfect tree then cutting it down to bring home brought a wonderful holiday smell into our home that can’t be matched with today’s artificial trees and pine candles lit to give ambiance.  There were the holiday traditional dishes-homemade fudge, gingerbread houses, different types of cookies that made this time of year memorable with its wonderful smells that say stay home and enjoy some lovely homemade goodies.  Unless of course you’re diabetic then the challenge now is to cook with sugar free ingredients but it can be done and still smells great.  Happy holidays!

The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>

Issue 51.09

I still remember what both of my grandparents’ homes, no longer standing, looked like.  Sometimes I’ll awake from a dream and recall being in grandma’s kitchen or dining room.  It still exists in my memory even though grandmother died in 1967.  It’s been more than 40 years since I walked through her modest front door.

By the front window she always had some geranium flowering plants growing to add some color and cheer to her life since she didn’t have a yard to grow her favorite lilacs or others flowers after moving to Eureka from Silver City.  All she had was a cement front porch, no grass and an old tree growing by the side of the house.  There was an alleyway on the side of her house, but no garage.  In the winter when the snow was high, it was difficult to shovel the driveway.  There was just one way out the front door to get to the street.

Grandma’s house had an upstairs where my mom and I had a small apartment that we shared.  A long stairway leads to our hideaway but alas we had no bathroom up there.  We had a little chamber pot under our bed for when it was too cold to make the long walk downstairs to the one toilet shared by everyone including grandma’s borders.  Across from the community toilet and shower that were in separate stalls, there was a huge washbasin with a large decorated mirror when boarders could lather up and shave their whiskers before heading off to work.

I remember Grandma’s stove in the dining room that required lumps of coal to heat the whole house.  The only other source of heat was the kitchen wood stove that was used all year round for cooking despite the temperature indoors or out.  Hauling in wood and taking out ashes were regular chores each day for my uncle Clarence.  Next to this cozy stove was where I had my tub baths.

My other grandparents lived in the railroad company home, a simple but well kept block home that grandmother kept meticulously clean.  I was so sad when grandpa retired and they had to move from that home to a newer home in a different part of town.  I had so many memories in their old house, but grandmother was excited to finally have some of the modern conveniences like a garage that her neighbors had. The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>

Issue 50.09

Thinking back of your early childhood days, what special sounds bring back pleasant memories?  For me, it’s the train’s whistle as it approaches an intersection.  Both my grandpa and dad worked on the railroad, so we lived in company housing near the tracks.  Trains rushed by all hours during the day and night with their loud rumbles.  You got used to the sound and missed it; if a particular train was late, you noticed.

The sound of neighborhood kids playing and dogs barking always lured me outside to play with my friends––two and four legged.  Happy memories of taking some of my dad’s tools and deliberately knocking down an old fence that separated my yard from my best boy friend’s house next door are still with me.  Quietly sneaking into my house and tiptoeing outside carrying a jar of peanut butter from the pantry to share with my hungry little preschool friends are fond childhood recollections.

Sitting in the quiet summer evenings on my grandparents back porch waiting for the next train to pass and talking about anything and nothing was our normal routine, as no one owned a TV to watch then.  Listening to the old radio play music of the time or talent shows or any of the popular drama shows was our main source of entertainment.  Sometimes my grandma would get out her fancy electric phonograph and play a record.  One of my favorites was “Red River Valley.”  Corny old Western tunes that recall a slower time when families had time to just sit and be together.

My grandma liked to tell me stories of her youth.  I can still remember the sound of Grandma’s laughter and Aunt Dora reading us stories.  Then there was the ring of the telephone as society progressed.  One long ring for our neighbor or two shorts for us.  Everyone shared a party line.  Talking on the phone was exciting, but long distance was expensive.

Other sounds from my youth were high school bands playing in parades, and circus shows when they came to town.  As a teenager, roller rinks with their canned music that you could dance to with your skates were popular.  Life would never be the same.  Popular performers were taking over the new movies that filled the movie theatres.  Now we had to be entertained.

What sounds do you recall from your childhood that bring you fond memories?  

The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>

Issue 49.09

We need to have practice funerals, times that we get together before a loved one passes away to celebrate their life and interact with them.  But that’s not how life happens.  My own grandmother’s death came suddenly when she was in the hospital just to be released after a bout with pneumonia.  She had just written a letter to one of her daughters saying…Don’t you worry. I’m so much better here.  Have the very best of care . Then a blood clot formed and quickly took her life.  We were all in shock at grandma’s sudden demise and wished we had visited her more often.  I lived about 100 miles away and because of college classes hadn’t been able to see her in the hospital.

With my own mother, her death came slowly after being diagnosed with a brain tumor.  She declined then fell into a coma and quietly left us.  Hospice was a great help with her situation, and family members who lived nearby were able to visit.  But it was at her funeral that the whole family came together for the first time in many years.  Unfortunately, my mom was not alive to enjoy the company of all her grandchildren and extended family.

We need to have more pre-funeral celebrations.  Maybe that’s what a family reunion is all about, but today’s families are too busy for gathering.  We live too far apart.  The tight knit family in the same community is a thing of the past.  We may twitter and email but we’re lacking the physical contacts-the hugs, kisses and conversations that we had in earlier times with our extended family.

Next summer I will be celebrating my 70^th birthday, which seems impossible because I feel much younger inside!  I’m trying to get my whole family together for a reunion but they are too busy.  So, it looks like I’ll have to wait till my real funeral to have them together.  I’ve written my life story and memories of my family to leave behind, but would like to have the physical contact and interaction that comes only from being close in person.

How about you?  Is there someone you need to visit who might not be there tomorrow?  It’s not only age that takes us away from this life, but accidents and illnesses that can come at any age.  Isn’t it time we made more time for family?  

The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>

Issue 48.09

Unfortunately, there does come the time in our lives when our parents need our constant care.  Not able to live independently without some assistance, we may discover it’s time for us to parent our parents.  It’s not an easy transition for any of us.  I recall at my mom’s funeral, my oldest son saying to his younger brothers…Well, we need to think ahead of how we’re going to take care of mom.  That was a strange situation because here I was the person who had just been responsible for my mom’s 24/7 care, finances, health needs, and my son was already thinking ahead to my possible declining years.

First of all, he needs to know that not everyone has to have help in their golden years.  Many seniors can live independently quite nicely without support from their families.  Others like my mom suffer from ill health and need either family care or an assisted care facility.  My mom lived alone till she was 88, then realized she couldn’t continue to take care of her home, shop for groceries, drive to medical appointments, etc. without help.  Being her only child and living some 200 miles away didn’t help the situation.  Not wanting to live with family and disrupt our lives, mom opted to go to an assisted care center in her area.

Moving her and organizing all her belongings gathered from a lifetime was not easy.  It was extremely stressful and took much patience, probably as much as mom had experienced parenting me.  Then helping her make the transition from total independence to living in an assisted care center was even more difficult.  As her physical health and mobility declined, she became more childlike.  I had to step in and become the all knowing parent-kind, loving and available.  Making decisions for her that she didn’t always like or agree upon, knowing she had a terminal illness, and trying to prepare her for death was demanding.  How do you prepare your parent to let go of their life and face the fears of the unknown future.  You try to do so lovingly, all the time dealing with your own confused emotions of anger, relief and grief.  It’s a challenge.

Just as she had spent her life teaching and preparing me for what was ahead, now it was my turn to respectfully try to prepare my parent to depart from her loved ones.

 The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>