Issue 10.10

Dating at BYU in the 1960s was fun, and it was wonderful to have such a large selection of young LDS fellows to meet at dances and other church activities.  We were all organized into student wards.  I remember one Sunday having three different dates: one date to go to church with in the morning, a different guy I invited for dinner with my roommates, and then another fellow for a fireside date that evening.  That was tricky, arranging events so they didn’t meet each other.

BYU was like a daters dream come true, once you got into the swing of it.  I was a junior in class standing, but nevertheless started dating steadily a young man that was a freshman majoring in music.  We had lots of fun together, but after his first year of college, he was ready for his church mission.  So, the time came to say farewell for two years or forever.  We broke up because he didn’t want me to wait for him.  It seemed that each young man I dated helped me understand more about life, and what I was looking for in a mate.

As a senior at BYU, I met an older graduate student and we started dating.  He was 29, a returned missionary and a perpetual student––it should have been a perfect match.  Studying to teach Seminary, he couldn’t teach until he was married.  He had logically gone about making his list of qualities he wanted in a potential mate.  Dating about sixteen young BYU coeds, he checked them out against his list.  Then eliminated them until he finally narrowed his list down to one––me!  But in all his mental calculations, he had forgotten the romantic side of a relationship.

Though we enjoyed dating, going to dances, parties and concerts, there were no sparks between us.  He wanted to get engaged, but I felt no physical attraction to him.  We had never even kissed!  He had prayed and was sure I was the one, but my prayers didn’t come up with the same answer.  He also wanted a large family of ten children or more.  He told me he knew this would be a big challenge as…you would need to be pregnant for the next twenty years . He still isn’t married to this day.  I guess he ended up being the old maid.

Lin Floyd lin@sunrivertoday.com is the author of LOOKING BACK…at the “Good Old Days,” a collection of her weekly articles about growing up in the old West.

Issue 9.10

Dating at BYU in the 1960s was fun, and it was wonderful to have such a large selection of young LDS fellows to meet at dances and other church activities.  We were all organized into student wards.  I remember one Sunday having three different dates: one date to go to church with in the morning, a different guy I invited for dinner with my roommates, and then another fellow for a fireside date that evening.  That was tricky, arranging events so they didn’t meet each other.

BYU was like a daters dream come true, once you got into the swing of it.  I was a junior in class standing, but nevertheless started dating steadily a young man that was a freshman majoring in music.  We had lots of fun together, but after his first year of college, he was ready for his church mission.  So, the time came to say farewell for two years or forever.  We broke up because he didn’t want me to wait for him.  It seemed that each young man I dated helped me understand more about life, and what I was looking for in a mate.

As a senior at BYU, I met an older graduate student and we started dating.  He was 29, a returned missionary and a perpetual student––it should have been a perfect match.  Studying to teach Seminary, he couldn’t teach until he was married.  He had logically gone about making his list of qualities he wanted in a potential mate.  Dating about sixteen young BYU coeds, he checked them out against his list.  Then eliminated them until he finally narrowed his list down to one––me!  But in all his mental calculations, he had forgotten the romantic side of a relationship.

Though we enjoyed dating, going to dances, parties and concerts, there were no sparks between us.  He wanted to get engaged, but I felt no physical attraction to him.  We had never even kissed!  He had prayed and was sure I was the one, but my prayers didn’t come up with the same answer.  He also wanted a large family of ten children or more.  He told me he knew this would be a big challenge as…you would need to be pregnant for the next twenty years . He still isn’t married to this day.  I guess he ended up being the old maid.

Lin Floyd lin@sunrivertoday.com is the author of LOOKING BACK…at the “Good Old Days,” a collection of her weekly articles about growing up in the old West.

Issue 7.10

Coming out of high school where I never had a date, I entered junior college in California with fear and trepidation.  Would I ever have a date?  What was wrong with me?  How do you go about attracting the interest of an eligible young man?  Then I was introduced to blind dating by a friend of mine named Buddy.  He set me up with a guy that he thought I would really like.  Turned out my blind date was the student body president of my junior college, and his last name was Love.  Talk about an eventful first date and one nervous young eighteen year old!  Although we seemed to click on our first date and had lots in common, we were from different religious backgrounds.  I was Mormon, and he was Episcopalian.

We dated for several months, had many long religious discussions, and then my new boy friend decided to try BYU in Utah to check out Mormonism.  This was a shock, but he did transfer the next semester.  A bigger shock to me was after he left; I found out from others that my first real date was engaged.  His fiancée was going to college back east.  They had decided to go out with others to see how they really felt about each other.  This was my first dating experience!  Needless to say, we broke up, and I don’t know if he ever married the young lady he was engaged to-probably not.

Welcome to the world of dating games!  More challenging social experiences followed with fellows who didn’t share my standards or beliefs until I joined a religious fraternity/sorority at my junior college called Lambda Delta Sigma.  Members were LDS students who enjoyed wholesome, fun activities.  Finally, I decided it was time for me to transfer to BYU in Utah if I was serious about finding someone to date and marry in my own faith.

I also decided to change my college major from Engineering to Dance.  Now that is quite a switch!  Even though it would mean leaving the wonderful weather of California and returning to the four seasons in Utah, I was excited about the possibilities of pursuing a new major that I loved.  Saying goodbye to the professional ballet world forever, hoping to meet my Prince Charming and live happily ever after, I returned to Utah.

Issue 6.10

During my years of growing up, I would find that my career choices would evolve as new interests developed.  As a young child, I wanted to be a movie star or a telephone operator, but in high school that all changed.  I loved math and science classes and excelled in my studies, so it was only natural when the call came for more American engineers after the Russian spudnik satellite developments that started the space race and cold war, that I would consider going to college to study engineering.  I don’t think I even knew what an engineer was, but my high school teachers encouraged me to become one.

Unfortunately, my junior college teachers in 1958 weren’t as supportive as my high school instructors had been.  I still remember a Physics 101 professor, on the first day of my college class, writing on the blackboards around the room the simple equation E=MC².  Then he proceeded to say: “Even the girls in this class can understand this simple equation.”  Whether he was trying to be funny or not I never determined, but it made the three girls in my class of 35 physics students feel uneasy.  Today it would be called sexual harassment.  As I pursued my new engineering major, I found that college classes in math and science were much more competitive than in high school.  I was discouraged to only earn a B or C grade after earning almost straight A’s in high school.  After one semester in college, I was ready to look for a different career.

Taking ballet lessons had been a hobby I started in high school and loved.  During junior college, I performed in many musical productions as well as in community theatre.  Then came the opportunity to dance professionally and join a dancer’s union as a member of the Los Angeles City Ballet Company.  Wow, this was almost like being a movie star, a career choice of mine earlier.  The only problem was the entertainment world had different morals that I had.  Being a very naïve young girl when I left high school, and feeling uncomfortable with theatre people, I left my ballet company.  Determined to continue my college studies as a dance major at BYU, and become a professional dance teacher, I thought maybe I’d get married along the way.

Lin Floyd lin@sunrivertoday.com is the author of LOOKING BACK…at the “Good Old Days,” a collection of her weekly articles about growing up in the old West.

Issue 5.10

After a year of so of ballet lessons came the opportunity to perform in high school plays and musicals.  My world of dance expanded from ballet to musical comedy theatre as I danced in “Our Town,” and other long forgotten musicals.  Then came the high school talent show.  I prepared a toe dance to classical music and won despite great classmate competitors who sang popular rock‘n roll songs of the day, played the piano or performed magic acts.  The student body wasn’t too happy with a toe dancer winning first place and the coveted prize of a portable black and white TV set over the other more popular contestants, but the adult judges liked ballet dancing.

I was hooked.  I loved dancing.  Who needed boy friends or dating when you could have so much fun dancing?  At this time, I discovered the world of professional ballet dancing and became a member of the Los Angeles City Ballet.  So many opportunities had been opened to me that wouldn’t have been possible if I had stayed in my hometown of Eureka, Utah with a population under 5,000 and no ballet teachers.

The only problem was, ballet is not social dancing and it didn’t help me overcome my shyness with the boys.  Being taller than most of the guys in high school also didn’t help.  Add to those problems, the addition of glasses for near sightedness, and I began to feel like an “old maid” at sweet sixteen.  Invited to one high school party-a dance party, I discovered I had no social dance skills.  The popular music of the day included Elvis and the twist.  Well, my mom decided to help me out by teaching me some popular dances from her youth.  Unfortunately, the Charleston and the waltz weren’t well known at the one and only party I attended in high school.

Somehow I survived high school by focusing on dancing and my studies.  Self conscious and skinny at 5’9” and 110 pounds, I couldn’t be seen if I turned sideways, but I did excel in my math and science classes.  I took an accelerated English and college prep seminar class that pointed me towards college.  I would start a new tradition in my family of attending college.  After high school graduation, I received free tuition at one of California’s great junior colleges and was to have my first dating experience. Contact lin@sunrivertoday.com to purchase a bound copy of Looking Back columns for the past two years.

Issue 4.10

My mom as a young girl living in a small Utah rural community had always longed for a piano to play.  She knew this would never happen because her mom was a widow struggling to find work to support her family of five dependent children.  So Mom did the next best thing, she drew piano keys on a cardboard box and pretended to play.  Later when she married and I came along, Mom bought a piano.  Although I had no interest in learning to play, she arranged lessons for me.  After years of trying to convince her that I’d never fulfill her dream of being a pianist, she let me stop taking lessons.  It was my tears at my first planned piano recital that finally convinced her.  The move to California helped as we left our piano behind with grandma in Utah, and it brought other opportunities for me.

My first introduction to dancing was confined to learning to do pliés at my new girl friend Mary Anne’s house.  Holding onto her mother’s ironing board, my friend who had taken ballet lessons for several years was my teacher.  Her dad taught piano but I couldn’t get enough dance instruction after I finally convinced my mom that dancing lessons would make me happier than all the piano lessons in the world.

My greatest desire was to join my friend in her classes and perform in the famous ballet Swan Lake.  I wanted to be in the Dance of the Little Swans.  It’s a very intricate toe dance executed in unison by a group of four advanced ballet dancers, all unfortunately quite short.  I was always tall for my age.  You can imagine my disappointment, when after a few months of ballet lessons, our recital came along and I danced in a beginner’s ballet called the Seasons.  I was the center dancer representing the sun because of my height.  Within a year though, I was able to dance with my friend Mary Anne in the ballet Coppelia, and later in Cinderella.

During the summers, we attended the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles to see Swan Lake as performed by the professional New York City Ballet.  Their starring ballerina in those days was named Maria Tallchief, but she was not as tall as me.  Ballet seemed like a dream world of handsome men and beautiful ballerinas dancing out my favorite fairy tales.  Contact lin@sunrivertoday.com to purchase a bound copy of Looking Back columns for the past two years.

Issue 3.10

In the good old days after their courtship and marriage celebration, it was time for the newlyweds to have a chivaree, or a noisy party by their friends who would gather and try to kidnap one or both partners for a while before their first wedding night.  The crowd would come beating on pans and making lots of noise to serenade the couple.  After their friends were placated with refreshments and more celebrating, it was time for the newlyweds to be left alone.

Few could afford a fancy honeymoon.  Most new couples started married life very modestly.  They might move into the bride’s own bedroom in her parents’ home until they could get some money saved to buy their own place.  My parents got married secretly and after the ceremony returned home separately to their parents’ residences without telling anyone.  When finally the cat was let out of the bag when my mom’s younger sister found a simple wedding band hidden in the china closet, it was time to formally declare their marriage and establish a common residence.  My mom moved in with her in laws as they had room, and my dad got employment on the railroad.  Eventually, she was able to live with my dad in his bachelor quarters by the tracks and share a small bed with her new husband.  They were as happy as it they had a new split level home with all new appliances, but they had little-no electricity or running water in their temporary quarters provided by the railroad for its workers.

My dad was promoted from work crew to dispatcher and they were able to get a small––think one-room apartment with sparse furniture.  Little by little with their family’s help they acquired more-a table and chairs, an old sofa and a chest of drawers.  Their first big purchase as newlyweds was a gasoline washing machine, and later a car.  Such humble beginnings to start a marriage would be frowned upon today but they were happy in their home sweet home together.  

Other earlier ancestors of mine started out their married life in a dugout or log cabin.  My husband’s great grandparents lived in a tent in Oklahoma during the oil boom days before they were able to homestead some land and construct a small one room lean-to that was home.  The important thing for the couple was their love and being together.  

Contact lin@sunrivertoday.com to purchase a bound copy of Looking Back columns for the past two years.

Issue 2.10

What’s happened to the old fashioned values such as: modesty, fidelity, and honesty?  In our modern times they don’t seem to exist or even be considered especially as portrayed in films or TV shows.  The young couple meets, falls in lust (not love), and heads to the bedroom.  What’s happened to dating, courting, and getting to know each other before letting the hormones move us into the stage of a relationship which used to come only after marriage?  Nowadays I’ve heard a young woman say…well, we’re just going to move in together and see what develops.  Where is the process of making the commitment to one another of marriage first, then moving in together to establish your own family with perhaps some children added in time?  Was that just for old fashioned times and people?

Clothing styles are another area that could use some improvement for some, especially for women but also some young men.  Many gals let it all hang out and the guys have a hard time keeping their shorts and jeans up with no belts.  Then there is the bra-less look. I remember when that first came about during the 1960s.  Many anti-war protestors including young men had burned their draft cards while the young women burned their bras in support of personal freedom.  I was in my 20s during that time period and found myself wanting to go along with the current styles that included mini-skirts but I never felt comfortable dressed that way or that it was really me.  Being a naturally shy modest person, and maybe a little old fashioned was a better fit for me.

In today’s society, honesty is lacking both on a family and corporate level.  It’s not unusual to know someone in your own family that has cheated on a spouse in the name of freedom and self expression.  I remember growing up thinking that everyone was honest but I quickly found out differently as I interacted in our society.  We should be able to trust others-our spouse, our banker, our teachers with our kids.  Then there are those who use bullying and child/spouse abuse to get their way.  So how do we teach our old fashioned values to our families and encourage them to practice the tried and true ethics?  Only by being an example of the good principles, we learned as a child, will change happen.

Contact lin@sunrivertoday.com to purchase a bound copy of Looking Back columns for the past two years.

Issue 52.09

Can you think of one smell that signifies your memories of the past?  To me it is sagebrush-a pungent sweet distinct smell that always recalls UTAH and my childhood.  Moving to California as I did when 10 years old, I always looked forward to our trips home across the Nevada desert.  With my first smell of sage, I knew home was near and my loving grandparents.  We came to visit almost every deer season and I loved being in the outdoors as my family prepared to go hunting in the lovely fall weather or collecting pine cones from pinyon trees among the sagebrush.  Even today when I return from vacations, I get a thrill when I smell sagebrush as it starts to appear along the sides of the road, for my destination––my home is close.

Other distinct smells of the past were grandmother’s fresh homemade bread, rolls or pies hot out of the oven.  Just walking inside her house, I could smell her love in the aroma that greeted us.  It didn’t take long for grandma to serve her finest roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy––a traditional meal for family reunions or for any special occasion.  When I make dressing for turkey that same distinct sage smell fills me with longing for the good old holidays.

Lilacs are another smell that reminds me of the past.  It is a popular flowering bush that both of my grandparents had growing in their yards.  They are so pretty and so fragrant.  Then there was the cheap perfume from the dime store that my grandma always wore, and grandpa’s Old Spice aftershave.  Either of these smells nowadays takes me instantly back to earlier times.

Smells of Christmas are comforting.  Our family tradition was always to have our own fresh cut Christmas tree to decorate.  Hunting in the mountains of Utah for the perfect tree then cutting it down to bring home brought a wonderful holiday smell into our home that can’t be matched with today’s artificial trees and pine candles lit to give ambiance.  There were the holiday traditional dishes-homemade fudge, gingerbread houses, different types of cookies that made this time of year memorable with its wonderful smells that say stay home and enjoy some lovely homemade goodies.  Unless of course you’re diabetic then the challenge now is to cook with sugar free ingredients but it can be done and still smells great.  Happy holidays!

The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>

Issue 51.09

I still remember what both of my grandparents’ homes, no longer standing, looked like.  Sometimes I’ll awake from a dream and recall being in grandma’s kitchen or dining room.  It still exists in my memory even though grandmother died in 1967.  It’s been more than 40 years since I walked through her modest front door.

By the front window she always had some geranium flowering plants growing to add some color and cheer to her life since she didn’t have a yard to grow her favorite lilacs or others flowers after moving to Eureka from Silver City.  All she had was a cement front porch, no grass and an old tree growing by the side of the house.  There was an alleyway on the side of her house, but no garage.  In the winter when the snow was high, it was difficult to shovel the driveway.  There was just one way out the front door to get to the street.

Grandma’s house had an upstairs where my mom and I had a small apartment that we shared.  A long stairway leads to our hideaway but alas we had no bathroom up there.  We had a little chamber pot under our bed for when it was too cold to make the long walk downstairs to the one toilet shared by everyone including grandma’s borders.  Across from the community toilet and shower that were in separate stalls, there was a huge washbasin with a large decorated mirror when boarders could lather up and shave their whiskers before heading off to work.

I remember Grandma’s stove in the dining room that required lumps of coal to heat the whole house.  The only other source of heat was the kitchen wood stove that was used all year round for cooking despite the temperature indoors or out.  Hauling in wood and taking out ashes were regular chores each day for my uncle Clarence.  Next to this cozy stove was where I had my tub baths.

My other grandparents lived in the railroad company home, a simple but well kept block home that grandmother kept meticulously clean.  I was so sad when grandpa retired and they had to move from that home to a newer home in a different part of town.  I had so many memories in their old house, but grandmother was excited to finally have some of the modern conveniences like a garage that her neighbors had. The perfect Christmas gift, a bound collection of these columns. Contact <lin@sunrivertoday.com>