Issue 20.10
I remember my mom just before I was to be married, asking me if I knew about “it.” Of course I told her I knew about “it.” That greatly relieved her as my mom had been brought up when you didn’t mention those words like “menstruation,” “sex,” “birth control,” “pregnancy” or other related words. I suppose they felt it was better not being prepared for these momentous occasions than facing the discomfort of talking about it openly. So, I never had the “birds and bees” talk with my mom just like she never had that talk with her mom. Somehow we were suppose to learn about “it” through osmosis and make it through that first wedding night with no preparation.
Did pioneers or our parents have less adjustment in their marriages than we do? Perhaps, women knew their place; they were the homemakers and nurturers. The men knew they were to provide the living and protect their family. I know there were less divorces in that era. In fact divorce was something that hardly anyone ever mentioned, let alone did. That’s not to say that there weren’t lots of adjustments to be made for both partners in a new marriage.
Few modern day couples would think of getting married and moving into a small rented apartment. Most couples want a large apartment or their own condo complete with all new appliances, nice furniture and at least two bedrooms not to mention a dishwasher. Contrast this with pioneer newlyweds who were happy to start married life in a tent while the husband fell trees to build a cozy one room log home which could one day be expanded to two rooms when the 8-10 children she would bear came into the world. Outhouses and indoor plumbing were luxuries not even imagined in those days.
But back to the future, modern couples wouldn’t think of taking their laundry to a laundromat. We lived in a one bedroom rented apartment with no dishwasher, and had to make the weekly trip to the laundromat. We struggled with a limited income and strapped finances. Only had one car which wasn’t new. We never ate out but instead discovered recipes without end using hamburger and how to save money by mixing your milk with powdered milk. Then came the biggest adjustment of all when after 1 ½ years of marriage, I was with child.