Issue 49.10
All my life I’d looked forward to becoming a grandmother. Because of my sons’ divorces and my oldest son marrying at age 35, it didn’t happen until I was 58 years old. I remember my own maternal grandmother was 40 when she welcomed me as her first grandchild. But, she wouldn’t let me call her “grandma” because she was too YOUNG. I called her “Auntie” instead. Well, I was more than ready to be called “grandmother” in my late fifties.
My first grandchildren came miraculously as one of my sons and his wife were unable to have their own children, so they adopted. What a blessing to suddenly have twin granddaughters nine months old. I loved being a new grandparent, and now understand why young people have the children. It’s draining to try to keep up with two lively toddlers. I can only look on with amazement at their parents who seem to have unlimited energy as they care for them 24/7. I guess I did that when I was their age, with my own four sons.
More grandchildren have been added to our family with six total so far plus my 16 step grandchildren from my husband’s four daughters. That’s exhausting just to think of 21 descendents in all. One of my step grandsons is married, so we could be “great grandparents” one day soon. Life is definitely “what happens while you are making other plans.”
Now it’s the empty nest or retirement days. No longer needing to work to support ourselves, we have free time to pursue our hobbies and interests, which includes visiting family. Reflecting back on all that life has taught us, we try to counsel with our children through their challenges. It becomes clear why we are still here, to assist our family in this journey called “life.”
Grandkids are our reward for surviving as parents. They love us unconditionally. We can spoil them because we aren’t their parents. Disciplining them is not our job, just enjoying them. I remember my own grandparents with fondness. Now I know why. They always had time to listen to me and genuinely cared about my life, feelings and problems. We had a special bond. Grandparents are enjoying the fruit of their labors as parents. For those without grandchildren, nieces and nephews can fill these same needs, as you become a beloved aunt or uncle. It’s not too late to purchase a collection of the first two years of these columns Looking Back…at the Good Old Days. Available from Lin 435 628-8522 for $10.