Issue 27.11
On occasion I have the privilege of being with a family when their loved one dies and have the honor of praying with the family at this precious moment. Creating the opportunity and space for family members to say their last words to a dear one at this time is part of the healing process for them and the beginning of a meaningful closure.
Not everyone related to the deceased has the opportunity to be there at this time, nor is the grieving process necessarily completed for those who are present in these final moments. Often there are many things left unsaid that we wish we might have said to our beloved before their final goodbye.
It may be weeks, months and even years before the grieving process is completed and we have gained enough meaningful closure to move forward in our lives. People need an opportunity to release and share their grief with others. A number of websites have come into being that create this space for people who need to tell their stories of loss and share their grief.
One of these, Wouldhavesaid.com, was born out of compassion to give grieving people a place to connect to their deceased loved ones and with one another. The website uses a well known and proven technique of writing a letter directly to the deceased which allows people to finally say things that might still be hidden in their hearts and thus, complete the closure needed to release their pent up grief.
It’s important for grieving people to be able to share their stories over and over again until the reality of their loss really takes hold. Once the emotional grief is acknowledged, the healing process can take its course and be completed. The internet provides a wonderful space where this grieving can take place with others in a non-judgmental and caring way.
Sharing our stories with others via the internet creates a bond with people who may also be struggling with coming to terms with their loss. Community sharing via the internet is great therapy to help in the grieving process so we can move on and continue our lives after experiencing the loss of a loved one.
Let us remember too the real space for grieving and healing takes place within us. Our willingness to experience those feelings of grief and loss possibly ignored in the past is what brings the healing we desire.
Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Center of Positive Living in St. George.