Issue 48.11
It’s difficult to get into the holiday spirit when you have lost a loved one. The pain of separation is still felt and sometimes the pain seems more acute during the holidays. Our hearts yearn for some connection with our loved ones who are no longer here to share the holidays with us. We miss those we have loved and shared our life with. What can we do to alleviate this pain of loss, or at least to lessen its emotional hold on us?
There are no easy answers to this dilemma of separation we experience. Even though we know our loved ones continue to live on in a different form, we still want to connect with them in some way and feel their presence. It’s through our faith we know that death is not an ending but a beginning of new life on a spiritual plane. The lesson and spirit of Christmas is that life is an eternal process and journey to discover the everlasting reality of life and Love.
St. Augustine, a Bishop of the Christian church in the 4th century, speaks of this experience of love that goes beyond the seeming separation caused by death.
“Love never disappears, for death is a non-event
I have merely retired to the room next door.
You and I are the same; what we were for each other we still are.
Speak to me as you always have, do not use a different tone, do not be sad.
Continue to laugh at what made us laugh.
Smile and think of me.
Life means what it has always meant.
The link is not severed.
I will wait for you; I am not here, but just on the other side of this path.
You see, all is well.”
When we take to heart these words of wisdom from St. Augustine, we will begin to understand and know we are on the same path as our loved ones who have gone before us. Opening our hearts and minds to these wise and sacred words will remind us “we are the same; what we were for each other we still are.”
What beautiful words to comfort us and lift our spirits in uniting us with those we love as we recall the fond memories of the holidays gone by. May you experience this truth that the love of those who have gone before us is still with us, and remains with us throughout our lives.
Peace and blessings for the holidays, Rev. Luigi
Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice and the minister of the Unity Center of Positive Living in St. George.