Issue 17.12
The ideal family doesn’t exist, except in our imagination. Every family has its own problems because we are imperfect human beings learning how to live successfully together. Just one look at the news can give you an indication of how that’s going as wars rage and families fall apart before our eyes. Divorce, child abuse, gangs, drugs, suicides all testify that there are many lessons being learned the hard way from this experience call life.
Unity can be defined as the state of being one or having harmony and agreement. Is family unity even possible? Raising four sons to adulthood taught me parenting was a challenge that required much patience. Now as I watch my grown sons and their wives raise my grandchildren, I have to be amazed at their commitment as parents. Harmony is a daily goal seldom achieved, but lessons are being learned and progress made.
During spring break I was able to have my teenage twin grand daughters for a week. It was exhausting, but delightful to get better acquainted with them and the rest of their family who came to visit later. Looking for opportunities that could be turned into teaching situations, building their self-esteem and having fun was challenging. Trying to build in them a feeling of family unity included telling them of my experiences with my grandparents and my memories of their father as a young boy as we looked through old photo albums and talked lots. Love was expressed and bonding built.
I realized that for the first few days we were in what I call the honeymoon stage where they were on their best behavior. Slowly that changed and I was able to try to teach some lessons about conflict resolution, forgiveness and the importance of love as my grandkids interacted more normally. Playing games gave me the opportunity to demonstrate to my young grandsons cooperation and self-control; how to lose without getting angry and how to help others win. We played a fun game called Aggravation or Chinese checkers that was a highlight of their visit as their dad recalled playing this same game with his grandpa and grandma. Then there was croquet played outdoors on the lawn which taught more lessons in courtesy, taking turns and concentration. It was good visit with few fights or angry outbursts and many opportunities to get to know one another better and build family unity.
NEXT TIME: Building Traditions Last Chance to take Write Your Life Story class taught by Lin. Thurs. May 3, 10 & 17 at Zion’s Integrative Healing Arts Center 2-3:30 pm, $25-3 classes or $10/class, for more info call 628-8522.