Issue 16.13
As a funeral director in our community for over 20 years, I have seen a huge sift in the way and manner which families honor their dead. Though there is no right or wrong way in which families decide to honor the family member who has died, I do believe there is a way that will help all families regardless of type of disposition they may select.
Today’s families are not accustomed to making funeral arrangements and haven’t attended many services. They have fewer ties to tradition and when a death occurs they tend to think in terms of a “celebration” or “party”. Many confuse efficiency with effectiveness and try to move away from any feelings of grief by saying “It will just be easier if…”
By properly educating ourselves about the importance of the grief process and funeral ceremony we as a society and individuals will be better served and able to adjust and cope with the loss of a loved one.
Dr. Alan Wolfelts from the Center of Loss and Life Transition uses the following pyramid. Reality – Funerals help us begin to truly acknowledge the reality that someone in our life has died. Recall – Funerals encourage us to remember the person who died and share our unique memories with others, creating hope for the future. Support – Funerals bring together people who care about each other in an atmosphere of love and support. Expression – Funerals allow us to express our inner thoughts and feeling about the life and death. Meaning – Funerals mark the significance of life that was lived. They also help us find meaning and purpose in our continued living in the face of loss. Transcendence – Ultimately funerals help us embrace the wonders of life and death.
I have found that as families take the time to honor and acknowledge a loved one’s passing properly, they tend to move forward more quickly and face the challenge of life without their loved one better than those who don’t. It is human nature to want to take the easy path, but remember easy isn’t always better.
For Questions or Comments please feel free to contact Todd at Metcalf Mortuary (435) 673-4221.