Issue 8.12
As a hospice chaplain I often get to discuss spiritual issues with the dying. However, that is not their primary focus. What most concerns the dying is YOU – their family and loved ones. More often than not they are more concerned about the living; the people who they are leaving behind. They want to know what’s going to happen to their spouse, children, grandchildren and the people they love. Many times the dying person is not ready to “leave” until they know in their hearts and mind that their loved ones who remain are going to be taken care of when they are gone.
Their relationships are foremost on their mind and heart. You can easily hear this concern for others in their speech: “I don’t want to be a burden to my family.” I’m worried about what will happen to my wife/husband/children. I hope they will be ok without me.” Some times such loving concern is even extended to their pets.
What the dying talk about is the love they have for family and friends. Sometimes they share their heartaches about loved ones who might have gone astray. Also, they are acutely aware of making amends for any hurts they might have caused some one dear and express the desire to be forgiven by them.
One reason the dying are concerned about family is because family is most often where they have experienced love in their lives. Family is where we find meaning and purpose in life. Family is where we create and express our lives and show love for one another. How we live with others determines our experience of the Divine we call God and Heavenly Father.
It is in family where we first experience the spiritual truths of this life, such as: love, joy, peace, happiness and forgiveness. It is in family where we love, move and have our being. And it is in family where we say our final goodbyes in this life.
The dying know the truth of love as stated by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13: “Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres. Love never fails.” The dying know this and understand that love goes beyond the grave: “Love is stronger than Death.”
Luigi Persichetti is the chaplain for Southern Utah Home Care and Hospice. For more information on Hospice services, contact David Isom or Debbie Cox at 435-634-9300.